Malakas Of The Week: The Gret Stet Grover Grovellers

Being embarrassed by the Louisiana legislature is not an unusual state of affairs. They’ve passed many crazy laws over the years but their latest act of self-mortification really takes the biscuit. It involves a letter sent by 11 Republican legislators to Grover Norquist begging for his absolution as if he were the Pope. I wasn’t aware that Grover had the power to grant indulgences to sinners in the church of Norquist but these bozos act as if he does. And that is why the Gret Stet Grover Grovellers are malakas of the week.

When I first heard about this, I thought it was an Onion story, but it comes from the Newhouse Vestigial Picayune:

Eleven legislators are seeking answers about Gov. Bobby Jindal‘s “no tax” pledge directly from the man who issued it — Grover Norquist, head of Americans for Tax Reform in Washington D.C.

State Rep. Joel Robideaux, R-Lafayette, and 10 other Louisiana House members sent Norquist a letter (PDF) Sunday night, asking Norquist to rethink his approach to Louisiana’s budget and the “no tax” pledge.


Lawmakers are struggling with Norquist’s restrictions as they enter the final four days of 2015 budget negotiations. They have to send the spending plan to Jindal’s desk by Thursday evening.

The governor has threatened to veto any budget plan or tax bills that don’t meet Norquist’s “no tax” requirements. Currently, the governor is pushing the Legislature to adopt a controversial higher education tax credit — commonly called SAVE — that Jindal says will make the budget comply with Norquist’s wishes.

Robideaux and others don’t like SAVE and have argued the tax credit could lead to tax hikes in the future. Through the letter, they are asking Norquist to push back on the SAVE legislation.

“We are deeply concerned about the clear and present danger posed by this bill. As conservative Republican legislators, we firmly believe SB 284 is the biggest threat to fiscal responsibility our state has ever faced,” wrote Robideaux, head of the Legislature’s tax-writing committee, in his letter to Norquist.

Just think about this: elected officials are begging an unelected, out-of-state malaka like Grover Norquist to help them deal with a Governor of their own party. We are officially through the looking glass here in the land of dreams, y’all. This conjures up images of medieval monks donning hair shirts and engaging in self-flagellation rituals. Only this rite of humiliation has been done publicly. This is what Bobby Jindal has driven this state and his own supporters to. Thanks, PBJ.

For his part, Pope Grover responded favorably to this public ass ring kissing:

Norquist, president of the Americans for Tax Reform, shot back Monday in a letter of his own, in which he okayed the proposal in question and called legislators’ inability to find cuts elsewhere “disconcerting.”

Mighty nice of Pope Grover to sign off on this proposal. He’s probably bragging relentlessly about this latest triumph courtesy of the Gret Stet Grover Grovellers. I’d rather have Jeremy Irons as Pope, at least he has a mellifluous voice. Yeah, we’re watching The Borgias on Netflix right now…

Call me old-fashioned but I think a state should be able to handle its affairs without grovelling to a special interest group, especially one led by a wingnut with a silly name. And that is why the Gret Stet Grover Grovellers are malakas of the week.


5 thoughts on “Malakas Of The Week: The Gret Stet Grover Grovellers

  1. I wondered if this was going to slip by you folks. Obviously, this appalling and unseemly groveling does not speak well of Louisiana state government, but how is it playing in the local media and the citizenry? Are they happy with low taxes and lousy services? Is everyone happy that elected officials have self-castrated and ceded all authority to Grover Norquist? Will next year’s ballots be devoid of candidates for any office except for Grover Norquist? I mean, if he’s going to run the state anyway, he might as well have the fun of victory on election night.

    1. @Gratuitous: It’s not playing well even in the reddest parts of the state. LSU is a beloved institution and people aren’t happy with the way it’s been gutted. Jindal has the lowest approval rating of any Governor since they started polling.

      @Michael: And the Stelly plan was strongly supported by Mike Foster, PBJ’s mentor and sponsor.

      1. I’m glad to hear that the political leaders are getting some heat for this. I would be really glad if a couple of them paid a political price (like becoming ex-officeholders) next election go-round.

  2. From what little I’ve seen, Norquist being an outsider will invite scorn, but a lot of the same scornful folks fall hook, line, sinker, rod and reel for Grover’s pitch, the not-so-veiled impression that all the tax dollars are going to “those (undeserving and lazy) people.” Hence, the gleeful destruction of something called the Stelly Plan, which voters passed by referendum in…2003, if I remember. It increased income taxes on high earners in exchange for cutting or eliminating sales taxes on certain items (especially grocery staples). The State Lege repealed it early in Jindal’s first term, and ever since…welcome to the roller coaster ride.

    That said, I get the impression that a fair number of people giving PBJ low marks are upset he didn’t really take a meat axe to the State budget…as long as it didn’t immediately affect them personally.

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