Malaka Of The Week: Trey Gowdy

Draco Malfoy & Trey Gowdy

Draco Malfoy and Trey Gowdy. Photograph via Buzzfeed.

Trey Gowdy is one of the whitest people on the planet. Buzzfeed was right when they paired him with Tom Felton who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies. Felton also had a star turn in the inaugural season of Murder in the First playing a narcissistic and homicidal tech mogul who was always just a nano-second away from throwing a tantrum. Trey Gowdy had his own public tantrum recently, and that is why he’s malaka of the week.

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the last few years, you know that Gowdy is the wingnut chairman of the House BenghaziBenghazi committee. The committee was established to dig up dirt on Hillary Clinton and its purview has been expanded to cover the increasingly tiresome email “scandal.” It took the Kevin McCarthy (R-Hungria) gaffe for the dolts of the MSM to admit that this is a strictly partisan inquiry aimed at taking down Hillary Clinton. That’s a scandal in and of itself as Josh Marshall said at TPM:

Again we have the same basic dynamic: journalists either felt that they needed such a statement to start looking at what this investigation was about or, in some cases, were just so ignorant that they didn’t know what was going on in the first place. From personal experience, I know there are reporters in both categories. But it’s those in the first that most interest me. Everybody knew what was up. But you couldn’t say it because doing so violated the ‘two, equally valid arguments on both sides’ rule. Like I said, McCarthy’s statement was the permission slip. And that’s really not the way it should work.

It also violated the Clinton Rules as pointed out by Eric Boehlert in a piece where he aptly compares Malaka Trey (sounds like a pupu platter) to Kenneth Starr. Of course, Starr was a pious fool whereas Gowdy is merely a fool. Hell, Malaka Trey probably considers a Starr comparison to be a compliment. He should not. The only difference is that Starr’s investigation wasted even more of the taxpayer dollars that GOPers claim to find sacred than Gowdy’s. Malaka Trey’s panel has already been quite profligate having spent $4.6 million and counting. So much for fiscal conservatism.

Gowdy has been aided and abetted by the flying monkeys of the inside-the-beltway press corps. They’ve been lazily feasting on leaks from the committee, which has insulated it from the criticism it deserves. The worm, however, is starting to turn as Gowdy has had a disastrous few weeks. From whistleblowers to other GOP Congresscritters, everyone is picking on poor widdle Trey.

I mentioned Malaka Trey’s mini-meltdown. It came in an interview with the enablers of spoiled brats like Gowdy, the creeps at Tiger Beat on the Potomac:

“I would say in some ways these have been among the worst weeks of my life,” Gowdy said this weekend during a lengthy interview with POLITICO. “Attacks on your character, attacks on your motives, are 1,000-times worse than anything you can do to anybody physically — at least it is for me.”

There you have it in a wingnutshell: Trey Gowdy and other members of the House Malakatude Caucus (aka the GOP majority) are bullies with glass jaws. They can dish it out but can’t take it. Gowdy even claims that he’s running a “factcentric investigation” and, of course, Politico swallows this indigestible claim whole. Oy such malakatude.

Malaka Trey’s recent tantrum perfects the Draco Malfoy analogy. They’re both palefaced, entitled bullies. Malfoy has supernatural powers but the little putz is a fictional character whereas the damage caused by Trey Gowdy’s witch hunt is real. I suspect the actor Tom Felton might object to the comparison: at this point, he’s movie star handsome whereas weak-jawed Trey Gowdy looks like the product of generations of peckerwood inbreeding.

The show trial hearing is tomorrow and my money is on Ms. Clinton to rout her foes on the committee who are so zealous that they keep making huge mistakes:

Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) appeared to leak the name of a CIA source by accident while responding to a scathing letter from Rep. Elijah Cummings (R-MD). Cummingswrote Gowdy early Sunday demanding that he apologize to Hillary Clinton for falsely claiming she mishandled classified information by forwarding an email containing the CIA source’s name to an aide. His letter noted the CIA notified the select committee on Saturday that the email contained no information it deemed classified.

The Gowdy committee is “factcentric” in the same way that Fox News is fair and balanced. Of course, Roger Ailes is an evil genius whereas Malaka Trey is an evil dolt. And that is why Congresscretin Trey Gowdy is malaka of the week.

I’m not sure what’s on it, but pass the malaka trey just for the hell of it. Perhaps it has wingnut wings or, better yet, oaf offal…

Now that I’m finished punning, I’d like to propose a theme song for Master Gowdy:

2 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Trey Gowdy

  1. gratuitous says:

    If we’re going to comment on Rep. Gowdy’s looks, may I suggest that he looks like the love child of Harry Dean Stanton and Alan Cumming.

    Good luck getting that image out of your head.

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