A Win for Big Switchblade

Who, exactly, was clamoring for this? 

It would no longer be a crime to carry a switchblade, or to carry a concealed knife without a permit, under a bill approved Tuesday by the Assembly’s Public Safety Committee.

Rep. Evan Goyke of Milwaukee said the bill treats all knives equally.

“You and I could put whatever knife we want in our pocket or we could just carry it in our hand, and that would not be a crime,” he said.

I get the gun stuff, because NRA and NRA money. But who exactly is Big Knife, that was worried about Knife Rights?

Walworth County Republican Rep. Cody Horlacher said the bill will ensure that people who carry knives for self-defense won’t be charged with carrying an illegal weapon.

“Maybe somebody doesn’t want to carry a gun for one reason or another, but they’re OK with a knife. And I think that those individuals that want that sort of security or feeling of security should be able to have that,” said Horlacher.

What are we defending ourselves against with a knife? An out-of-control cheese plate?

And according to these asswipes everybody should be okay with a gun — including 4-year-olds — unless they’re some kind of America-hating pussy. Plus, second amendment! Which amendment guarantees my right to a switchblade? Is this some minor unintended consequence of no longer quartering soldiers in our homes or what the hell?


4 thoughts on “A Win for Big Switchblade

  1. I, for one, look forward to the coming wave of GOPers being decapitated with razor-sharp katanas. They weren’t using that ugly lump of bone anyhow.

  2. Considering that a Native man in Seattle, a woodcarver who used a knife in his work, was shot to death BY cops who found his small knife SO threatening? I don’t see this ending well!

  3. ” Which amendment guarantees my right to a switchblade? ”

    The Second, actually. “Arms” is any weapon, not just guns; just because we only have the NRA and not the NSPTTYIIFBTMTSABA* doesn’t de-Amendify everything not-guns. It is actually one way to push back against the unregulated-gun fetish. While lugging anything I can physically lift (or drive through the door in Texas and Alabama) into an elementary school is totes cool as long as it uses a controlled explosion to expel a piece of metal at people, there are hilariously strict rules if I decide to drag in a halberd. Since both are “arms”, it makes sense that regulating the bang-bang arms is just as Constitutionally valid as regulating the poke-chop arms.

    *National Sharp Pointy Things That You Insert Into Flesh-Bags To Make Them Scream And Bleed Association

    1. “National Sharp Pointy Things That You Insert Into Flesh-Bags To Make Them Scream And Bleed Association”

      Where do I sign up, and do you have a newsletter?

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