I’m still on one of the Vestigial- Picayune’s email lists. The main reason I haven’t unsubscribed is because sometimes the things they highlight are so ridiculous that it makes me laugh. This afternoon the Zombie-Picayune’s headline was, David Vitter acknowledges prostitution scandal in new TV ad. Not quite. Only a newspaper that endorsed Diaper Dave would consider the new ad, Hard Times, an acknowledgment of anything:

After months of attacks about the issue, Republican candidate for governor David Vitter is addressing his prostitution scandal in a new television ad — though without using the word prostitution.

The 30-second spot, released Monday, features Vitter sitting at a kitchen table as he talks to the camera, saying: “Fifteen years ago, I failed my family but found forgiveness and love.”

Vitter, a U.S. senator, apologized in 2007 for a “serious sin” after he was linked through phone records to Washington’s “D.C. Madam.”

In the ad, Vitter says, “Our falls aren’t what define us, but rather how we get up, accept responsibility and earn redemption.”

Outside groups and rivals have repeatedly hit Vitter about the scandal this election cycle. He faces Democrat John Bel Edwards in the Nov. 21 runoff.

The whole “I failed my family” thing is just a variation on the “I committed a serious sin” theme. The other lame thing about this article is that it’s a wire service story. That’s right, the Picayune is so pitiful that it’s not even their story. It’s the way the boys in the Advance Media back room in Mobile want it.

Now that I’ve teased you, here’s the ad, which isn’t much better than the lame Zombie-Picayune coverage of it:

You’re probably wondering where the Bill Clinton playbook fits in. It’s Bitter Vitter’s closer where he tells us that he’s a fighter and will get up every day and fight for us. Anyone who lived through the Clinton Presidency will remember Bill’s promise to get up every day and work for us. The fighter shtick is more Nixonian than Clintonesque, but Vitter is more like Tricky Dick than almost any current pol I can think of. The only thing missing in this ad is a dog named Checkers and a Republican cloth coat.

This soft focus ad with icky music is another example of how Vitter has lost his mojo. It’s way too late to get people to like him because he has children. Additionally, equating his hooker scandal with the struggles of ordinary people is ludicrous. It’s what John Ehrlichman called a “modified limited hang-out” during Watergate. That approach didn’t work for Nixon and it won’t work for Vitter in the wake of the BOOM ad.

Since Team Vitter called this ad Hard Times, I’ll give Ray Charles the last word: