Today has been quite the day for whiny Republican man-boys who, in the wake of Donald Trump securing the nomination of their party for President, have taken to the Internets to write 3,000 word essays about their stupid fucking feelings.

Their party led for the past two decades by draft dodgers and former Nixon bagmen, these meatflaps spent the Bush years declaring themselves an oppressed minority fighting against The Terrorists by changing the font colors on their idiot websites. They called themselves a Strike Force, and an Army. They offered their bodies for the fapping to protection of their favorite female warbloggers lest some liberal attack the fair maidens. They called anyone not freaking out daily over the threat of Islamic terrorism a “dhimmi” and pissed themselves with joy when Bush used another of their pet words, “Islamofascism.” Generally they acted like picking cheese doodle crumbs out of the seams of their Barcaloungers was the equivalent of walking midnight patrols in Fallujah.

Given all that drama, it’s really not surprising that the nitwittedness of their “cause” and the scope of their delusions of grandeur are in exact inverse proportion today. They’ve spent years nursing imaginary grudges. Those grudges are in college now but show no sign of getting off the tit, and Donald Trump’s exposure of their idiocy is just one more mouth to feed.

Woe is to the Republican chickenblogger, that his pet candidate among the Republican field of fascists and fools did not win the primaries. It is hard when your tax-cutting, education-opposing, woman-hating mannequin of choice gets lit on fire by a TV pitchman. I suppose these people should have 24 hours to drink and puke and fistfight and cry.

BUT THESE AHISTORICAL FUCKFACED BUFFOONS DO NOT GET TO COMPARE THEMSELVES TO THE FRENCH RESISTANCE.

@BillKristol @guardian so in keeping with #VichyRepublican #NeverTrump becomes #TheResistance

— Daliah (@daliahfox) May 5, 2016

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Yes. You and your dumb emotions and how Donald Trump makes you feel all squirmy in your bottom parts are EXACTLY LIKE THIS:

On 5 June 1944, the Free French government in London called upon the Vercors people to take up arms and tie down the German army prior to the Allied invasion of Normandy as part of a wider series of resistance uprisings. In his BBC speech, de Gaulle pronounced the famous line “the chamois of the Alps leaps forth” (le chamois des Alpes bondit) which signalled the 4,000 maquisards to begin the uprising.

To overcome the centre of resistance around Vassieux-en-Vercors, Luftlandgeschwader 1 landed two companies of Russian/Ukrainian troops of Fallschirm-Battalion “Jungwirth” of the Brandenburg Lehr Battalion by DFS 230 and Gotha Go 242 gliders on July 23.^[1]

The bloody suppression of the Vercors insurrection further inflamed the Maquis in the region but also served as a warning that they were not well enough armed or organized to directly confront the Wehrmacht until the arrival of the Allies.

Bill Kristol lately is famous for being wrong about nearly everything. Lost in his new reputation for incredible incompetence is his history of equally incredible nastiness towards anyone who did not share his opinion of the coming Iraq conquerage.

Especially … wait for it … THE SAME FRENCH PEOPLE WHOSE HERITAGE HE NOW WANTS TO RUB HIS JUNK AGAINST.

In Europe, France’s provocation will have the effect of forcing European governments to choose sides between U.S.-sponsored action to disarm Iraq and French determination to protect Saddam Hussein from American power. We believe that is a healthy thing, in part because it will reveal that France in no way speaks for all European governments, perhaps not even for a majority of them. The United Kingdom, Spain, Italy, Poland, the Czech Republic, Turkey, and other European allies are already committed to supporting an American-led action, and more will join the coalition. An American invasion of Iraq will not be a unilateral action, not by a long shot.

What is more, while European discomfort with American power is a reality, there is discomfort, too, with the aggressive pacifism of Gerhard Schröder and, for now at least, of Jacques Chirac. Nor are all Europeans likely to be entirely comfortable with France’s increasingly notable propensity to appease vicious dictators, not just Saddam but also Robert Mugabe, whom the French have just invited to Paris in apparent violation of a European Union travel ban. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld raised a furor in Paris and Berlin last week when he contrasted the “old Europe” of France and Germany to the “new Europe” of Poland, the Czech Republic, and other recent entrants into the European Union. The sputtering outrage at Rumsfeld’s remarks in Paris and Berlin is, we suspect, a sign of anxiety that the new entrants cannot be counted on to follow the Franco-German lead against the United States.

Kristol took 73 kersquillion words to say basically, “Na na na na boo boo, you’ll be sorry someday FROGS.” His bullshit magazine ran a steady stream of articles about how the French wanted to make sweet romantic love to Saddam while he killed American babies, and the conservative movement dedicated itself to pouring perfectly nice wine down sewer grates and renaming things in the mess.

And now he wants to talk about de Gaulle? Charles de Gaulle made it out of Verdun. The Republicans can’t even make it out of their own primary season.

Bill Kristol isn’t fit to scrub birdshit off that man’s tombstone. He owes France an apology for about 78 things by now, but especially for pretending to the throne of that badass.

Schmuck.

A.