I used to be an avid consumer of late night talk shows but I was always more of a Carson and Letterman guy. I’ll take ice and irony over blather, bombast, and big chins any time. If that makes me old, so be it. I cannot deny what’s on my birth certificate even though it’s tempting to become a self-birther. I could argue it for years, disclaim it and try to pin it on somebody else. I’ll pass: I wouldn’t want the stage to collapse on me. I’m past that,uh, stage of my life…

Now where was I? Late night comedy and malakatude. The appeal of Jimmy Fallon has always eluded me. There’s something sycophantic about him: he’s way too eager to please his guests and his audience. With his Trump “interview,” Fallon has completed his transformation into Jay Leno only without the strong chin. And that is why Jimmy Fallon is malaka of the week.

I have never once complained about late night talk show appearances by Presidential candidates. It became part of campaigning after this happened in 1992:

That was one reason many of us called him President Elvis. I don’t know about you but I miss Junk Food Bill. Vegan Bill is too skinny but that’s neither here nor there.

Here’s the problem I have with Fallon fallin’ for the Insult Comedian’s shtick. It normalizes Trump and treats him like just another candidate as opposed to a boastful, wall-building, Mexican-bashing, birtherism-promoting, alt-right pandering bigot. The whole “can I touch your hair” thing was nauseating on so many levels. Imagine touching Trump’s cotton candy piss hair? Gross.

Twitter blew up over this sycophantic stunt. Here’s what one internet wise ass had to say about it:

Playing with Trump's hair is analogous to shining Mussolini's head as a joke. Not everything is funny. https://t.co/950xF7wTmZ

— Shecky (@Adrastosno) September 17, 2016

Am I surprised that Jimmy Fallon is a bootlicker? Hell to the no, that’s been obvious for years. He’s the ass kisser’s ass kisser, the brown noser’s brown noser but this was in a word: disgusting. He makes Merv Griffin look like Mike Wallace:

That was SCTV’s Rick Moranis as Merv Griffin but he nailed it. And yeah, I know, that was a dated pop culture reference. I’m just trying to verify the date on my long form birth certificate in case Alex Jones is picking this up on his tin foil transponder…

The clips I’ve seen of the Insult Comedian and Malaka J remind me of Wayne’s World. I kept expecting Fallon to genuflect and chant “I’m not worthy.” You know something: he’d be right about that. And that is why Jimmy Fallon is malaka of the week.