If I see one more stupid meme about how this is happening so we can remake the world in a kinder, gentler image, I am going to put my fist through something.
(Yes, I’m out of the denial stage and squarely into anger. I like it here, and I think I’ll stay a good while.)
Just fucking STOP IT with the “maybe when this is all over we will appreciate one another more” and “this will turn America back to God” and “maybe we need to think harder about how much we value socializing with our friends” and all that crap. Stop it.
Hundreds of people are not dying in New York hospitals and being buried in the park so that you can paint “live, love, laugh” just a little bigger on your dining room wall.
Christ, this is the most repulsive part of a disaster, this whole “it happened so that I, living miles away in my comfortable life, will consider the world outside myself.” It drove me absolutely apeshit after 9/11 (the hijackers were not considering how to make you love going to the mall) and it is driving me bonkers now.
There are several species of this, of course, the mom-fluencer using this crisis to launch her line of bespoke beaded masks being the easiest target. But let’s not be sexist. Let’s also consider The Pandemic Is Good For The Environment Bro. He’s out here posting pictures of coyotes and shit with “humanity is a virus” all over them in a stupid Italian-restaurant-menu font.
Nobody is slowly suffocating in a nursing home so that you can hear the robins sing more clearly. Do you LISTEN to yourself? I’m glad you’d walk over your mother in golf spikes to reduce pollution on a NOAA chart, Brandon, but I don’t see you volunteering to die in order to rid the world of the carbon dioxide you exhale.
Just once I’d like some of these people to elucidate for us exactly how many nurses and ER docs they think should expire so that they can learn to be better human beings.
Oh, am I being too mean? Look. If we are going to clown on Pat Robertson for saying that this is happening to teach the oral-sexin’ young’uns a lesson about I don’t even know what, then we cannot give a pass to your aunt who thinks this all happened to inspire her to crochet a blanket for the local firefighters. It’s the same goddamn self-centered horseshit. What you’re really saying is that you think you and the people you love won’t suffer under this and so it’s all an abstraction, to make you feel feelings, which you think is the highest purpose of anyone ever.
Just … stop it. This isn’t over yet. It doesn’t get to teach you anything until it’s over and then, you don’t get to pretend you were part of the French Resistance if all you did was watch the news. The people driving Amazon vans around are the ones who get a ticker tape parade when this is all over. You don’t deserve some sort of medal for deciding to care about your family more.
Like the FUCK is wrong with you, you didn’t before.