It’s been an unduly stressful week in New Orleans. For the sixth time this hurricane season, we were in the cone of uncertainty. My friend Chef Chris DeBarr calls it “hurricane dodgeball.”

Hurricane Delta obeyed what could be called Adrastos’ First Rule Of Hurricane Forecasting: If there’s a bull’s eye on New Orleans 4 or 5 days before a storm hits, it will not come here. It happened again. It’s pure luck but it beats the hell outta the alternative. Delta is following an eerily similar path to Hurricane Laura, alas. Best wishes to everyone in Southwestern Louisiana.

All is not gloom and doom in the New Orleans area. In suburban Pearl River, a man saw a Catholic priest having sex with two women. In the church. On the altar. The scene was being recorded. Instead of beating off like a proper pervert, the peeper called the cops. One could call this an altercation. But were they doing it dog collar style?

This story is funny because it involves consenting adults, which makes it an anomaly for the Catholic church. It turns out the women were rough trade. There’s been a raging dispute as to the plural spelling of dominatrix. Some say dominatrices but I’m sticking with dominatrixes because X is a funnier letter than C.

I’m feeling terse this week, so this will be a relatively short Saturday Odds & Sods. We will dispense with our second act altogether. I’m worn out from all the presidential* acting up so one less act sounds good to me.

This week’s theme song was written by Leon Russell in 1969. It was first recorded by Joe Cocker but I’m still putting Leon’s version first. I don’t want to trip over his beard or some such shit. Of course, both Leon and Joe are no longer with us.

We have three versions of Delta Lady for your listening pleasure: Leon Russell, Joe Cocker live with Leon Russell, and a mostly instrumental version by the great Rick Wakeman. It’s unclear if his cape attended the session.

One reason for the avian Walter Anderson featured image is that Leon Russell also wrote a song called Hummingbird:

Let’s fly or hover to the break. There may be pollen on the other side. Achoo.

I’m in the mood for a few more bird songs before moving on:

We begin what should be our third act but is instead our second act with our favorite stolen feature.

Separated At Birth: The Grim Reaper has been a busy bastard of late. The latest prominent person to pass was Eddie Van Halen who died of cancer at the age of 65. I respected EVH as an innovative player but never cared for any of the band’s singers so I’m more of an admirer than a fan. So it goes.

In proper rock star fashion, EVH married someone who resembled him, one of my teenage crushes, Valerie Bertinelli.

I always pulled for the two of them to make it, but it was not to be. Mick and Bianca didn’t make it either. So it goes.

Here’s EVH doing what he did best, play the guitar with joy and passion:

The Grim Reaper also struck down baseball hall of famer Bob Gibson at the age of 84.

Bob Gibson RIP/Saturday GIF Horse: Bob Gibson was a fierce competitor. He hated opposing batters and teams with an undisguised passion. He was one of the best and most feared pitchers of his era. He was perhaps the greatest World Series performer of all-time. He’s the reason I grew up with a healthy respect for the St. Louis Cardinals for whom he pitched his entire career. Something that’s almost unheard of in 21st Century baseball. So it goes.

Here are some Gibby GIFs:

No modern baseball organization would let a pitcher employ Gibson’s motion.  That’s one reason the modern game is dull. They’ve squeezed much of the individuality out of it. Bob Gibson was one of a kind.

The Movie List: Bob Gibson’s nickname growing up was Hoot after B-movie cowboy Hoot Gibson. Gibby always liked Westerns and so do I. They’ve been supplanted by sci-fi swashbucklers and other types of action movies. What is Han Solo if not a space cowboy?

The problem with a list of favorite Westerns is that it could be half John Ford films. I untied that knot by putting a five film Ford limit on the top twenty list. I’ve also included two teevee series. How could I ignore Deadwood or Lonesome Dove?

My Top Twenty Favorite Westerns:

1.     The Searchers
2.     Fort Apache
3.     Shane
4.    The Wild Bunch
5.     Red River
6.     Deadwood
7.     Stagecoach
8.     High Noon
9.     Unforgiven
10.     The Naked Spur
11.     My Darling Clementine
12.    The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
13.    Blazing Saddles
14.    Lonesome Dove
15.    The Magnificent Seven (1960)
16.    Rio Bravo
17.    Little Big Man
18.   The Furies
19.   Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
20.   The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence

I had to start and end the list with John Ford flicks. There could have been several more. So it goes.

Weekly Vintage Music Video: This one was inevitable. We’ve all seen it a gazillion times but here it is anyway:

Let’s go ahead and jump to our final segment.

Saturday Classic:  I realize that some of you will cringe at my calling a Three Stooges short a classic. I had to go there because I referred to it in my Madman On The Balcony post. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

That concludes a post in which I said “so it goes” way too often.. The last word goes to The Wild Bunch: