I used the North By Northwest image because I wanted to flee the debate. Any time spent listening to Donnie from Queens’ nasal whine take a lot out of me. He is quite simply the most annoying public figure of my lifetime. I’m cautiously optimistic that this will be his last debate as a presidential candidate. Repeat after me: Donald Trump is an asshole, misogynist, racist, and mentally ill criminal.

It’s hard for me to judge these debates because I detest President* Pennywise and his every utterance. He was not as unhinged or feral as in the first debate. I’d give him 7 out of 10 on the Trump awfulness meter whereas he scored a perfect 10 last time.

Trump’s task was to convince alienated Republicans and Republican leaning independents to give him another chance. He failed. The “Biden corruption” segment was only comprehensible to political junkies and those who live in the right-wing media bubble. Most people think that Joey B Shark is an honest man, and that Trump is not. Repeat after me: Nobody cares about Hunter Biden.

Unlike many in the Crack Van, I thought Kristen Welker did a good job. It’s impossible to stop Trump from going on and on but she did a better job of containing his verbiage than Chris Wallace did in the first debate. It’s all you can do with this rude, mouthy motherfucker.

Biden was not quite as good as in the first debate, but he did what he had to do. He scored points, especially in the COVID, race, and “babies in cages” segments. Trump was appalling on all those issues. One thing I know for sure is that the guy who says they’re the “least racist person” in a given room is actually the most racist.

Trump’s most horrifying moment was when he showed no compassion for the migrant children who have been separated from their parents. President* Pennywise kept claiming that they’re well-treated and they were brought to America by “coyotes” not their parents.

Trump unleashed a blizzard of bullshit and an avalanche of lies during the debate. I’m glad I don’t have the fact check the lying bastard. Daniel Dale is a freaking saint.

A reminder that every time the Kaiser of Chaos opens his mouth, he loses votes. Here’s why: he only cares and talks about himself. Period. Case closed.

The stakes were lower for Biden. I thought that he won the debate. He’ll keep his lead and, hopefully, become the 46th president. I look forward to removing the asterisk, which will remain permanently attached to his opponent like Hester Prynne’s scarlet letter.

People are tired of the Impeached Insult Comedian shooting off his big fat bazoo. It’s time for him to go. Make it so, America, make it so.