It’s a been a cold week in New Orleans. Not Minnesota cold but our hundred-year-old raised house is designed to stay coolish in the pre-AC era, not stay warm in the winter. It’s drafty but we love it anyway.
It’s runoff election day in the Gret Stet of Louisiana. I discussed the DA’s race at Bayou Brief but there’s also a local ballot measure that would mess up our public library system, which is one of the few things that works well in New Orleans. I’m voting NO and if you’re in the Crescent City, you should too. If you don’t believe me, read this piece by my friend Kevin Allman.
This week’s theme song was written by Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter for the Dead’s 1975 album, Blues For Allah. The attached instrumental Slipknot came out of a jam by the whole damn band.
I selected Help On The Way to remind our readers that the Trump regime will only be in power for 46 more days. Help is on the way, y’all.
What’s a Grateful Dead theme song without a live version? It’s not only helpful, it rolls away the dew too:
I’m in a helpful mood right now, so here are songs by The Beatles and Joni Mitchell that should help elevate your mood:
Now that I’ve extended a helping hand, let’s jump to the break.
One more helpful song that could be about my lethal pun addiction except for the whole sugar pie honey bunch thing:
We begin our second act with a piece by Gabriel Sherman who’s a reporter with the ability to get people who don’t usually do interviews to open up.
One Man Band: Doug Band’s career in Clinton World began when he served as Bill Clinton’s presidential body man. In the post-presidential era he became Clinton’s chief of staff and chief enabler. Band became very wealthy while working for the former Oval One. He’s one of the reasons Clinton’s reputation is on the skids in 2020. The two men had a bitter split a few years ago and Band speaks about it for the first time in Vanity Fair.
The last word of the segment goes to Roger Daltrey with a cover of a Leo Sayer song:
It’s time to hit the gridiron. Hopefully, it won’t hit back. Make sure you wear a helmet.
Football In The Time Of Coronavirus: I’m among those who thought that major team sports should cancel their seasons. They did not. The reason was money. Anyone surprised? I thought not.
There were two swell articles this week about how the NFL and the NCAA have handled the pandemic. Not well is the verdict of both writers.
Slate’s Jason Kirk compares the NFL’s dogged COVID denialism with college football’s more erratic path. Neither comes off particularly well. Kirk characterizes the NFL’s response as stubborn and the NCAA’S as chaotic.
New York Magazine’s Will Leitch thinks the NFL’s COVID chickens have finally come home to roost. Some weird shit happened in the last week that undermined the NFL’s claims of competence. One of which involved my New Orleans Saints:
A Denver quarterback debacle. In the most embarrassing incident of the weekend, all four Broncos quarterbacks were forced to miss their game against the New Orleans Saints, because three of them spent hours indoors unmasked with the fourth, who tested positive. Thanks to their carelessness, a practice-squad wide receiver who hadn’t played QB since college had to step in. He threw nine passes, only one of which was caught by a teammate. (Two were caught by the Saints.)
Talk about winning ugly. Human Swiss Army knife Taysom Hill started for the second straight week for the Saints. Coach Sean Payton thinks Hill can be the team’s QB of the future. I remain skeptical. I do, however, think he’s better than Blake Bortles. Bortles super fan Jason Mendoza disagrees. He was disappointed that his hero didn’t start for the Broncos. Wear a damn mask next time, Blake. Jason needs you. I know he’s a fictional character from The Good Place, but he still needs you.
Here’s Jason dancing in his Blake Bortles jersey:
We begin our third act with our favorite stolen feature.
Separated At Birth Casting Edition: I made a Bela Lugosi/Ed Wood reference at the Bayou Brief so I feel compelled to present Martin Landau as Bela in Tim Burton’s Ed Wood and the man himself in his most famous role, Dracula.
Landau won an Oscar for his portrayal of Lugosi. The man himself was never nominated.
The Movie List: While we’re on the subject of Ed Wood, it tops my Tim Burton list.
My Top Ten Favorite Tim Burton Movies
- Ed Wood
- Edward Scissorhands
- Batman/Batman Returns
- Big Fish
- Sleepy Hollow
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Corpse Bride
- Sweeney Todd
- Big Eyes
I’m still sad that Burton and Helena Bonham Carter broke up. They were the perfect goth couple.
Saturday GIF Horse: I’m fond of quoting one of Bela Lugosi’s catch phrases from Ed Wood’s Glen or Glenda: “Beware, take care, beware.” It sounds even better in Bela’s Hungarian accent.
The other catch phrase from that terrible movie is “YOU MUST PULL THE STRING.”
It’s mimed below by Lugosi in the original bad movie followed by Johnny Depp and Martin Landau in Ed Wood.
What’s not to love about a bio-pic about the worst film director in history. Not a damn thing.
Weekly Vintage Video: This video was everywhere in 1982. I guess people like to melt. Beats the hell outta me.
Let’s close things down with some more music.
Saturday Classic: Overnite Sensation is one of my favorite Zappa albums. It features one of the mightiest versions of The Mother with Jean Luc-Ponty on violin and George Duke on keyboards and vocals.
That’s it for this week. The last word goes to Tim Burton, Vincent Price, and Johnny Depp on the set of Edward Scissorhands: