More quasi-crypto-pseudo live blogging.

Closing Argument By The House Managers:

The post title is a quote from Hundred Dollar Bill Man Ben Franklin that was used in Jamie Raskin’s opening. It clearly applies to the Senate Republican caucus. They’ve dug their grave, now they can lie in it.

House Managers opened strong with Raskin and Ciccilline. Then shit happened.

Mike Lee pitched a fit. He claims that Coach Tubs did not get a call on his phone. It’s the White House’s fuckup, not the House managers. Talk about a shitty Mormon, most LDSers are almost eerily polite. He’s an asshole he can go fuck himself.

Lee’s intervention was a way to distract attention from the power of the closing argument. That meant they were scoring points with the American people. I, for one, do not care about senate Republicans. They’re the sheep who will be eaten by Trumper wolves.

Lee withdrew his tantrum. Back to the House Managers case.

Madeline Dean was interrupted by Trump’s lawyers. Big mistake on their part. She was stronger after the objection failed.

The youngest manager Joe Neguse appealed to the senate’s history and to the better angels of the senators. Hopefully, some Republicans still have them. I think they knocked them off their shoulders four years ago.

Raskin: Trump also betrayed his followers, the insurrectionists.

The managers emphasized uplift, patriotism, and the best of human nature, which the defense is incapable of. They’re as nasty as their client.

Closing Argument For The Defense:

Van der Veen began with another rant denouncing his opponents. VDV still thinks this is a regular trial. He’s in over his red-faced head. Schmuck.

VDV blew his intro by attacking the other side instead of mounting a positive defense.

He made a ridiculous claim that Pennwyise has denounced the rioters. He’s done no such thing.

At least VDV isn’t shouting. Yet.

I wonder if VDV was a projectionist before he worked for Trump. This shit wouldn’t work in a prdcuct liability or medical malpractice case.

VdV repeated the lie about Rand Paul being attacked by a leftist mob. That was only one of his egregious lies. It was the second incarnation of the American Carnage speech.

VdV is fond of saying the attack was “pre-planned and premeditated.” Too bad his defense was not.

The entire argument was dishonest, disingenuous, disgusting and Trumpier than Trump. It’s unworthy of further commentary. In in the immortal words of Garth Algar of Wayne’s World fame, “I think I’m gonna hurl.”

Raskin rebuttal was fiery and forceful. He’s my new hero.

THE VOTE:

Holy moral victory, Batman. 7 Republicans  voted to convict with 2 surprises Burr and Cassidy.

I am thrilled to be wrong about Cassidy. He did the right thing. Thank you, Senator.