The Origin Of Herschel Walker

My thinking on Herschel Walker has evolved from “how about dem Dawgs?” to “how about dat origin?”

As to Herschel’s thinking, it’s not his strong suit.

Politicians say the darndest things, Trumpy politicians say the craziest things, but Herschel Walker topped them all last Sunday:

Republican Senate candidate Herschel Walker cast doubt on the theory of evolution in recent remarks, saying the fact that apes and humans coexist disproves accepted science.

“At one time, science said man came from apes, did it not? If that is true, why are there still apes? Think about it,” Herschel said in an appearance at Sugar Hill Church in Georgia on Sunday.

He’s gone from Georgia on my mind to Georgia on my mindless or some such shit. Think about it.

I posted that venerable Sports Illustrated cover to prove that Herschel wore a helmet when he played for the Georgia Bulldogs. That may have changed when he became a Trump employee:

While Herschel Walker’s evolution comment is low hanging satirical fruit, how to mock him posed some ethical questions. Adrastos’ first rule of satire is always kick up, never kick down. Ape jokes can never be used against a Black person as that’s blatant racism. It’s also kicking down to make a MPD joke about the former Dallas Cowboys star because he published this book:

Did I say MPD, I should have said DID. It may disqualify him to be a senator but it’s kicking down to use it to mock him for his idiotic evolution remarks. Think about it.

In Herschel Walker’s case, kicking up involves his undisputed gridiron greatness and friendship with his former boss:

I dig the teevee on the wall behind the Kaiser of Chaos. It looks like the picture was taken in a Trump casino bar. Probably not, there would be a Trump logo somewhere. Think about it.

Disbelief in evolution is not uncommon on the dipshit evangelical right. The pastor at the church Herschel spoke at said this in reply to his comments:

“Now you’re getting too smart for us, Herschel,” lead pastor Chuck Allen responded.

Not really. Think about it.

97 years after the Scopes Monkey Trial, we’re still debating evolution. I stand with Darwin, Clarence Darrow, and Henry Drummond. That’s the thinly fictionalized Darrow character played by Spencer Tracy in Inherit The Wind:

The irony of the casting of Fredric March as Matthew Harrison Brady the William Jennings Bryan character is that he was a leading Hollywood liberal whereas Tracy was a conservative Republican. It’s always fun to see Darrin and Colonel Potter in clips from the 1960 classic too.

Back to Herschel Walker. He stands with William Jennings Bryan, Matthew Harrison Brady, and Pat Fucking Robertson. I have no idea where the Impeached Insult Comedian stands on evolution, but this Henry Adams quote applies to him:

Just substitute President* Trump for Grant and the quote is perfect. I disagree with Adams about General/President Grant but that’s an argument for another day. Think about it.

It’s hard to imagine Georgia voters replacing the brilliant oratory of Reverend/Senator Raphael Warnock with the blithering babble of Herschel Walker but stranger things have happened. Herschel’s former boss won the 2016 electoral college vote, after all. Think about it.

Since Herschel asked us to think about it, the last word goes to The Jayhawks: