Malaka Of The Week: Frank Nicely

Tennessee State Senator Frank Nicely seems to get in trouble whenever he opens his mouth. We’ve met the Strawberry Plains GOPer before when he claimed that the South was the real winner of what he calls the War Between The States. I call it the War of the Rebellion.

Nicely seems to specialize in making inappropriate and inaccurate analogies whilst speaking. And that is why Frank Nicely is malaka of the week.

Let’s skip the exposition and get right to the point:

“During debate over a bill that passed the Tennessee state Senate¬†Wednesday that would allow misdemeanor charges to be filed for unauthorized camping on public property, one senator made a distinct comparison to outline the potential future lives that could be led by homeless people.

“I wanna give you a little history on homelessness,” Republican state Senator Frank Niceley¬†said. “In 1910, [Adolf] Hitler decided to live on the streets for a while. So for two years, Hitler lived on the streets and practiced his oratory and his body language and how to connect with the masses and then went on to lead a life that got him in the history books. So a lot of these people, it’s not a dead end. They can come out of this, these homeless camps, and have a productive life, or in Hitler’s case a very unproductive life. I support this bill.”

Malaka Frank thought that was nicely done because he stuck a disclaimer in at the end of that statement.

Is this supposed to inspire the homeless to be better Nazis?

Why the hell did the man whose name is nicer than he is tell this Horatio Hitler story or is that Adolf Alger?

Malaka Frank forgot to mention bootstraps during this bizarre speech. Not to worry, Horatio Alger is on the job:

Why did Nicely cite Ragged Dolf instead of Ragged Dick? Is it because everyone knows Hitler and Horatio Alger needs to be explained to a modern audience? Beats the hell outta me. I don’t understand dudes like Malaka Frank, and I say that as nicely as possible.

I have another question. If there are no bootblacks how can anyone pull themselves up by the bootstraps? It makes no sense, but neither does Frank Nicely. And that is why Frank Nicely is malaka of the week.

The last word goes to Boz Scaggs and Duane Allman with a classic song about someone down on their luck: