The Mouse vs. The Louse

This is the story of The Mouse vs. The Louse.

The Louse is Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis who is currently waging a two-front war against the Kaiser of Chaos and The Mouse. DeSantis is delusional if he thinks he can beat The Mouse into submission.

The Mouse needs no introduction. It’s a massive corporation that presents a benign child-friendly image to the world, but the reality is quite different. The Mouse is ruthless in its business dealings. They’ll shake off the Florida Man like The Louse that he is.

The Mouse is one of the largest companies in The Louse’s state. It brings in beaucoup tourist bucks and tax revenue. The Louse produces nothing of value. He specializes in trolling the libs. There may be votes in that but no money for Florida.

The Louse started the war with The Mouse. He lost the first major encounter as The Mouse’s mouthpieces outmaneuvered his minions. My colleague Cassandra wrote about it, so I don’t have to.

The Louse has been seething ever since. DeSantis is an Italian name derived from the Latin word sanctus, which means devout or holy. They got that wrong in The Louse’s case. His war against The Mouse is not only unholy, it’s stupid. The Mouse may lose the occasional battle but never a war.

The Louse has a new plan for vengeance against The Mouse:

“During a press conference in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, DeSantis announced a slew of forthcoming reprisals against the resort and theme park, including the possibility of building on the 40 square miles of land that borders it.

He floated the possibility of turning the land into a state park, another theme park, or even a state prison. Such development could affect home values on nearby properties.

“Who knows? I just think that the possibilities are endless,” DeSantis said, adding that the board he appointed to oversee Disney’s land would also consider selling utilities housed in the district to a private entity.

The governor didn’t stop there. DeSantis previewed a bill he said the legislature would introduce next week that would impose new inspection regulations on Disney, including on its monorail system and its rides.”

The Louse is a petty man focused on the details of his dispute with The Mouse. The Mouse always looks at the big picture. They made Orlando a tourism destination. Their imitators opened theme parks in Florida despite the threat of hurricanes and the reality of the annual summer swelter. Why? Because The Mouse did it.

As far as The Mouse is concerned, The Louse is a term-limited politician with delusions of grandeur. He’ll be out of office in three years. The Mouse is forever.

Fighting with The Mouse is far from the worst thing The Louse has done but it’s certainly the dumbest: even homophobes like Disney World and EPCOT.

Like his role model, the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian, The Louse is always on the attack. But this time he’s going after an entity that’s more powerful than a mere governor with presidential ambitions. They will fight him at every turn and time is on their side. The Mouse is forever.

The Louse thinks he invented ruthlessness. The Mouse is so ruthless that they’ve sued daycare centers to remove unauthorized murals depicting Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and the gang. Now that’s ruthless.

The Louse seems not to understand that it’s best to pick and choose one’s fights. According to Fortune Magazine,  The Mouse has been the most-admired media and entertainment company for the last twenty years.

If The Louse wants to be president, feuding with The Mouse is a terrible idea. I hope he keeps it up, the last thing the country needs is a Trump imitator as president. The real thing was bad enough.

The Louse is putting on a show for his supporters. The Mouse will defend itself with every weapon in its arsenal. The Mouse will be powerful long after The Louse leaves office.

Repeat after me: The Mouse is forever.

As far as The Mouse is concerned, dealing with hack politicians like The Louse is all in a mouse’s night.

The last word goes to Genesis:


2 thoughts on “The Mouse vs. The Louse

  1. Never get involved in a land war in Asia, and don’t pick a fight with the Holy Rodent Empire. Free advice, and worth it!

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