Another day, another weird dream. This time I dreamt that my next post would be called A Tale Of Three Louses. But The Mouse vs. The Louse is one of my favorite recent titles so it gets a sequel. Besides, I dig the featured image with Mickey as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

We begin with news out of Florida. Ron DeSantis is a common garden variety bully up against a behemoth with billions in assets and hundreds of lawyers to defend its interests. You know what that means? It’s all in the post title, The Mouse Sues The Louse:

“The lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Florida on Wednesday accuses DeSantis of punishing it for exercising its right to free speech, threatening its business operations, jeopardizing its economic future in the region and violating its constitutional rights.

“There is no room for disagreement about what happened here: Disney expressed its opinion on state legislation and was then punished by the State for doing so,” the complaint said. It went on to accuse the governor and legislature of “employing the machinery of the State” to damage the company. “State leaders have not been subtle about their reasons for government intervention. They have proudly declared that Disney deserves this fate because of what Disney said.”

I not only laughed out loud when I heard this news, I cackled, guffawed, and chortled. The Louse is being out trolled by The Mouse. DeSantis is the victim of his own small-mindedness and short-term thinking. Did he really think The Mouse would take his bullying lying down? If so, he may deserve to be called DeMoron after all.

I have no idea if Disney’s suit is meritorious. It is, however, hilarious that The Mouse is imposing some real-life consequences on The Louse. Stay tuned.

Our second louse is the other Florida Man, Donald Trump. The E. Jean Carroll defamation case is in full swing, but the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian has been absent thus far. Civil case defendants aren’t required to be in the court much to Judge Lewis Kaplan’s relief. I spoke too soon: the Judge has already admonished Trump for his social media antics.

Former assistant US attorney Mitchell Epner is covering the trial for the Daily Beast. He has high praise for Carroll’s legal team, which is mounting a substantive case whereas Trump mouthpiece Joey Tacos regards it as a chance for publicity. How Trumpy is that?

I have no idea how the Carroll case will turn out but any chance to see the Kaiser of Chaos pilloried in public is worthwhile.

Good luck, Ms. Carroll. This song from Guys and Dolls is dedicated to you:

I’ve written two posts about our last louse this week: Fox Tells Tucker To Fuck Off and Tuckered Out, Lemon Curdled.

Who among us doesn’t like a mystery? The media world is abuzz with speculation on why Fox sacked Tucker Carlson. The latest theory was propounded in the NYT:

“Private messages sent by Mr. Carlson that had been redacted in legal filings showed him making highly offensive and crude remarks that went beyond the inflammatory, often racist comments of his prime-time show and anything disclosed in the lead-up to the trial.

Despite the fact that Fox’s trial lawyers had these messages for months, the board and some senior executives were now learning about their details for the first time, setting off a crisis at the highest level of the company, according to two people with knowledge of the discussions.

The discovery added pressure on the Fox leadership as it sought to find a way to avoid a trial where Mr. Carlson — not to mention so many others at the network — would be questioned about the contents of the private messages they exchanged in the aftermath of the 2020 presidential election.”

What the Tuck?

I’m skeptical that this is the main reason for the firing. It feels like a CYA leak to make the powers that be look less horrible. Mission Impossible.

It’s likely that Tucker Carlson’s tenure at Fox died the proverbial death of a thousand cuts. Slurring the brass was one of many reasons this entitled creep was shit canned, not the primary one. One thing is clear: he was not fired for being a lying racist conspiracy monger.

Finally, there’s a fine article at Slate by Josh Cowen who worked for the Mothertucker when he co-hosted Crossfire on CNN.

“In those days his on-air persona was less overt: more of a televised bewilderment that anyone could possibly think racism was still a problem in contemporary America. It had yet to become the incendiary white nationalism of 2016 and beyond.

But the act Tucker honed since his Crossfire days was to make both what is right and wrong according to the worldview of white men seem so entirely obvious. Tucker stoked a conviction that white Americans need to mind with urgent clarity everything from the takeover of the country by people of color to massive overreach by an incompetent government.”

What a louse.

The last word goes to Harry Nilsson with what I call The Fuck You Song. It’s dedicated to the three louses: