Don’t be fooled by the smiling vintage Jack-o-Lantern with smiling vintage cat images. The news is making me cranky this week and you know what that means: It’s time for vexatious venting about irksome things.

I’m irked by people who think it’s a good idea to jail the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian if he violates the gag orders imposed by Judges Engoron and Chutkan. Fine the hell out of him but locking him up plays into his hands. He loves playing martyr and raising money off his so-called suffering. Fine him. Money is what he cares about the most. That’s why he’s attending the civil trial in Manhattan.

I do agree that the Kaiser Of Chaos should STFU.

I’m irked that the MSM seems to be taking Speaker Mike Johnson’s Blind Side family claims literally. His privacy based excuses for not showing off his alleged Black son strike me as lame. Does he even exist? If he does, let’s see him. When did GOPers start caring about privacy?

We’re in the age of the BIG LIE, so I’ll believe it when I see it. A reminder that the Blind Side story was not as it seemed in the book or movie.

I’m irked that people see the Israel-Hamas war in black and white terms. Everything in the Middle East is a shade of gray or grey however you prefer to spell it. We should rename it the Muddle East.

To truly understand the region, you have to be able to hold contrary views at the same time. For example, I think Hamas is a vile terrorist group, but I think Bibi Netanyahu is Trump with a better resume. His government is full of antidemocratic religious extremists. That goes for Hamas as well. Gray, grey, gray, grey.

If you want a conflict with black and white clarity, look to Ukraine. They’re resisting aggression by a dictator determined to retake power in Kyiv. Now, that’s black and white and so is this:

I’m irked that Never Trump Republican operatives are still giving Democrats gratuitous campaign advice. If they’re so smart, how come Trump has taken over their party?

Free advice is worth what you pay for it.

I’m irked that one of my all-time favorite film directors is incapable of making a movie under 3 hours long. I bet Martin Scorsese couldn’t make it through Killers Of The Flower Moon’s 206 minutes without peeing. I know I couldn’t and Marty is older than I am. I’m waiting to see it on streaming. I hope it’s better than The Irishman, which was a major disappointment.

Making matters even more irksome are the law suits filed by the studios suing theatres for taking pity on their customers and having intermissions. That flat out sucks.

I have fond memories of long movies with intermissions: Gone With The Wind, Lawrence Of Arabia, and Spartacus to name a few. Those were all re-releases. I’m old but I’m not that old. FYI, I am NOT Spartacus.

Yo, Marty. Go back to your roots and make a 90 minute movie. Be like Val Lewton or Robert Siodmak and make a tight genre picture. You know, the kind you used to make. You can do it again.

Substitute Marty for Jack in the lyrics of this Steely Dan tune and Bob’s your uncle. Bob DeNiro? Beats the hell outta me. Let’s Do It Again:

Finally, candy corn is not one of my favorite things BUT I’m irked by the annual outburst of hate directed at this humble candy. Did you know that it was originally called Chicken Feed? A bucolic brand name for a rural era.

That’s all for now.

Happy Halloween.

The last word goes to The Cars: