We begin with a story. I had a funny experience with an Instacart shopper this week. I was on the porch awaiting a delivery from Winn-Dixie when a Vespa pulled up in front. I assumed it was NOT the guy. After he dismounted, I noticed he had some bags in his hand and one draped over his arm. Then he said, “Are you, Peter?”

That was a first for me and made my day. I augmented his 20% online tip with a five dollar bill. Thanks for the new memory, man.

I realize that the eye in the featured image isn’t silver. Consider it artistic license. Besides, it’s by Rene Fucking Magritte, the pride of Belgium.

This week’s theme song was written by Tom Johnston for the fine band with a dumb name’s 1974 album What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits. That’s a great album title, if only they had done as well with the band name. But who am I to judge? The Doobie Brothers have sold a gazillion records and recently celebrated their 50th Anniversary.

We have two versions of Eyes Of Silver for your listening pleasure: the studio original followed by a 2022 live version. The latter is an audience recording that has surprisingly good sound and fewer fans murmuring or singing along than most audience videos.

I have a recovered memory to report. I had forgotten that I met OG Doobie Brother Patrick Simmons several times during my misspent youth. He’s the guitarist with the fedora and long hair in the second video. His favorite cousin was one of my high school cronies. I met Pat at several parties. I, of course, asked if he had any doobies, bro. He did. Party on, Pat.

Here are three more tunes in which the eyes have it:

Let’s hop on our motor bikes and begin our second act.

Succession Revisited: I’m sad that there won’t be any new episodes of Succession. Apparently, many of our readers are as well: my post about the series finale is one of our most read posts of the year. I think the catchy title helped, Succession: Of Pain Sponges & Face Eggs.

Repeat after me: Catchy titles are my jam.

If you too are suffering withdrawal symptoms from the end of Succession, fuck off, go to Vulture, and read an interview Matt Zoeller-Seitz conducted with Succession show runner, Jesse Armstrong.

I am afflicted with an earworm after writing that passage. This is it:

French Bulldog Mania: French bulldogs are so ugly that they’re beautiful. They’re the source of fascination for many people. They’ve even been stolen by dog breed savvy thieves.

There’s a swell article in Vanity Fair by Matt Pilon that chronicles the life and times of the breed. Need an explainer? Here’s a brief one:

You’ve probably seen the breed puttering along the street, or in the flowing stream of flat faces on Instagram or TikTok. Known as “a clown in the cloak of a philosopher,” Frenchies are beloved for their wrinkly faces, alert ears, and city-friendly size. They’ve become arm candy for celebrities including Reese Witherspoon, Martha Stewart, Megan Thee Stallion, and Michael Phelps. Lady Gaga’s Frenchies made international headlines when their walker was shot and two dogs were stolen in February 2021. First recognized as a breed by the American Kennel Club in 1898, French bulldogs are the It dog of our moment. This year, according to the group, they surpassed Labrador retrievers, who held the title for 31 years.

 

Among the most popular Frenchies, though, are the blue ones, which are less blue than light gray, as opposed to those with fur that looks like butterscotch, midnight black, or a marbled meld. More mouse than Smurf. Beloved though they may be (and they make up a large swath of the breed), blue French bulldogs are banned from competing at shows backed by the nonprofit AKC, which promotes and sanctions the annual Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Insiders call them “DQ dogs,” shorthand for their disqualified status. And so, the ongoing “color war” among the upper crust of the French bulldog world has turned into an extraordinary human battlefield.

Arf. Mais oui. Woof.

The last word of our second act goes to The Beatles:

We begin our third act with our favorite stolen feature.

Separated At Birth Casting Edition: Many think Winston Churchill looked like a bulldog. Do any of the distinguished actors who played him resemble bulldogs? That’s a question for the ages, not for the likes of me.

Let’s see what The Kinks have to say about that:

Your Weekly Oscar: This time, another Oscar-Fred doubleheader. Fred introduces the song in the second video: Fred Be Good, Oscar too.

Have I told you lately how much I love Oscar Peterson? That goes for Fred Astaire as well.

The Best Of Albert & Johnny: The doubleheaders keep on coming. Here are comedy greats Brooks and Carson. Johnny laughed so hard that I was afraid he’d burst a vein.

Have I told you lately that Albert Brooks is the funniest person on this or any other planet?

Saturday GIF Horse: I made a Snidely Whiplash reference in a post this week. He’s a cartoon villain who enjoys his work.

Things You Don’t Know About Me: I’m a touch typist because my father insisted that I take typing in high school. He told me that it was a skill I could use in many aspects of life. He was also tired of typing my papers.

Let’s close down this virtual honky tonk with some more music.

Saturday Closer: We come full circle and conclude with the fine band with a dumb name. It’s a 1974 appearance on the BBC show, The Old Gray Whistle Test.

The clip stands out because the bassist is wearing a wool Norwegian-style sweater and one of the drummers is sporting a fur coat. I am not making this up.

That’s all for this week. The last word goes to the Roy family of Succession fame: Sarah Snook, Nicholas Braun, Kieran Culkin, Brian Cox, Alan Ruck, Jeremy Strong, and Matthew Macfadyen.