Adrastos, Legal Docket, Political Crack, The Darnold

Legal Inanity On Parade

The Kaiser of Chaos in Judge Cannon’s courtroom.

I’ve been reticent to write about legal issues in any detail since my illness. It exhausts me to ponder the doings of judges, lawyers, and defendants. I’m going to try a looser approach in this post and park the legal docket at the dock. Shorter Adrastos: I’m going to say fuck a lot.

Let’s get on with it. Fuck yeah.

I wish I could take credit for the phrase legal inanity but I stole it from The Puppetmaster DBA Andrew Weissmann. I only steal from the best. He was talking about Judge Aileen Cannon whose inexperience, incompetence, and partisan bias are the epitome of legal inanity. Fuck that shit, man.

Every lawyer who is following the purloined documents case is scratching their head over a jury instruction that was proposed in a case without a trial date. You can’t make this shit up.

It’s time to mandamus the hell outta Judge Cannon. Recuse her already, Mr. Smith. Tell her to hit the road, Jack. It’s what Ray Fucking Charles would do:

Andrew went on to say this on Uncle Lawrence’s show right after the latest shit hit the fan:

“There’s a reason you’ve never seen anything like it,” Weissmann said, before dropping two M-words: the first was “meshuggenah,” describing the order, and the second was mandamus.

“Please draft a jury instruction assuming that the earth is flat. And the second one is please draft a jury instruction that the earth is square,” Weissmann characterized the order. “And so, the second M-word is mandamus. Mandamus is the ability — it’s not an appeal. It’s for extraordinary actions by a district court that so clearly violate the law that you can appeal it right then and there.”

“What she did today is so nutty,” he added.

You say nutty, I say Trumpy.

Recuse the judge already, Jack.

Take her down, Jack. You’re a bad ass war crimes prosecutor; don’t let all the straw men strewn about by Team Trump and eagerly swallowed by Judge Cannon get you down. You’re Jack Fucking Smith.

Fuck them.

Fuck it.

Fuck that shit, man.

Let’s play a fucking Garcia-Hunter song:

The legal system isn’t handling the Trump trials very well. It’s plodding along at its normal pace when some haste is in order. The Kaiser of Chaos will eventually be tried and convicted in one of the cases with an honest judge. As Abe Lincoln would surely say at this point, the courts have the slows. Fuck that shit, man.

In Atlanta, the problem is Fani Willis who hired a lawyer who wasn’t qualified to prosecute the RICO case, dated him, and then didn’t fire him early enough to limit the damage. Team Trump was indeed gunning for her but some of her wounds are self-inflicted. This Tricky Dick quote applies:

Fuck you, Dick.

Don’t even get me started on the Supreme Court. Sam The Sham and the Federalist Society Pharaohs can go fuck themselves.

The porn star hush money case has stalled too. Alvin has nothing to Bragg about; neither does the vaunted Southern District of New York. Is Chuck Ross of Billions in charge there now? He’s a Democrat albeit a fictional one. Chuck would make a shady alliance and fuck over anyone who got in his way. Where have you gone, Bobby Axelrod?

With all the bad legal news, there’s something to toast in the Empire State. The battle of nerves between AG Tish James and the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian is a wonder to behold. It’s obvious that Trump lied about his wealth and can’t pay the bond because his assets are leveraged to the hilt, not Hitler. That’s the guy he keeps quoting because he can’t help himself. Fear is the key to Trumpism. It helps whip up the Freak Parade:

This is something of a throwback post. When I joined First Draft I joked about a fuck quota because Athenae and Jude were such prolific potty mouths. Fuck, yeah.

I told you this legal writing shit wears me out. Dropping this many f-bombs is exhausting. I’m gassed. Fuck it.

Let’s end on a happier note with another song from the same album. The last word goes to Todd Rundgren’s Utopia: