They’d Like The Pound of Flesh Gift-Wrapped, Please

Despite sending replies that contain nothing but crude sexual innuendo, recipes for Molotov cocktails and links to the vilest, most hardcore porn I can find on the ‘net, I am still on the Family Research Council’s mailing list. And days like today, I’m glad I am, because children, they are pissed:

The Bush administration assured us late last year that the new Iraqi constitution would not threaten religious liberty. This, despite the provisions saying no law could be passed that was “inconsistent with Islam.” Our concern that such promises of religious freedom will be meaningless in light of Islamic law is once again justified by religious persecution in Afghanistan. The Afghan constitution, adopted after America liberated that country from the Taliban, has a provision similar to that of the new Iraqi constitution. Now, we receive a horrifying report of Abdul Rahman, 41, who is on trial for his life in Kabul, Afghanistan. Rahman’s crime? He has admitted converting to Christianity. That there should even be such a trial is an outrage. How can we congratulate ourselves for liberating Afghanistan from the rule of jihadists only to be ruled by Islamists who kill Christians? Such a “trial” is a flagrant violation of Article 18 of the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights–which the current Afghan government even incorporated into its constitution. Article 18 reads: “Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.”

To which new bit of evidence of the continued disintegration of the Bush cult, I can only give a hearty welcome. Welcome to our world. Welcome to the world in which nothing out of the White House makes any sense of any kind in connection with, you know, reality. Welcome to the nightmare of seeing your ideals betrayed, your hopes dashed, your fears coming true. Welcome, welcome. Please seat yourselves since the show’s already more than half-over. There’s plenty of room at the bar, but don’t expect me or anyone else here to buy you a drink just because you finally fucking showed up.

Here’s your Republican majority, fundies. Here’s your ordained-by-God preznit in all his skill and power. Here’s all the crap we’ve been talking about for months and months, the hypocrisy that forms the very basis of every single thing these people do. Here it is, cats and kittens, feast your eyes. This is what happens when you give whiskey and car keys to 15-year-olds. People die, most of them innocent bystanders, and a lot of stuff gets smashed to bits.

Don’t like what you see? Tough shit. We told you that this president had no interest in winning peace of any kind, anywhere. Hell, he told you himself he didn’t want to nation-build. He still doesn’t. He likes pretty pictures of soldiers blowing shit up, but nobody asked him, and besides, all children like that stuff. Grown-up nation-building is boring. We told you this president wasn’t smart enough to handle everything that was on his plate. We told you before 2000 and we told you again before 2004, but you thought it was more important to stop boys from kissing each other, so don’t you dare complain now that the glare hurts your eyes. Wasn’t us, left our sunglasses behind as we walked into the tunnel, toward the oncoming train.

God, the temerity of these assholes, being pissed off about this now. Dead soldiers, eh. Torture, meh. PTSD and cuts to benefits for the veterans actually fighting this beloved “war on terror?” Feh. But now, just now, today, it’s aux armes, aux barricades! WE TRIED TO TELL YOU these guys fuck up everything they touch. WE TRIED TO TELL YOU there isn’t a bad idea they had that they didn’t take and run all the way down field with. WE TRIED TO TELL YOU Iraq was a bad idea, that it would lead to us abandoning Afghanistan, that Bush didn’t know how to help a country set up a constitutionally liberal democracy any more than he knows all the words to La Boheme but you didn’t listen. You were gibbering on about prayer in school, the Pledge of Allegiance, assfucking, and the Pill. So how dare you be surprised that now you’re disappointed? Did you really think you were special, that you were the only ones whose world he wouldn’t cock up? You did, didn’t you. You really thought you were going to be exempt from disappointment this time.

Well, guess again. Schmucks.