Free Freedom! Get Your Free Freedom Here!

I’d ask if you were kidding me, but …

According to this breaking AP story, Alberto Gonzales said on This Week that he believes the First Amendment right to a free press is not absolute, and that reporters should be prosecuted in certain cases. He also announced that the collection of phone records would continue against reporters’ calls.

No, you know what? I’m asking anyway. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? Seriously? If this is some kind of sick joke, which truly would be the only way it wouldn’t offend the airwaves that carried it, I’ll never forgive whoever planned it. I’m not in the mood these days to fuck around.

Freedom of the press isn’t an absolute. Tell that to the dead who ensured it, Mr. Gonzales. Tell that to those American heroes, the founding fathers and mothers, the men and women who died for liberty. Go stand on their graves and tell them the rights they struggled to prove they had, the rights they said were self-evident, the rights that they believed in so strongly that they took on the most formidable empire in the history of the world and won, those rights mean nothing. They’re a first draft, really, just a sketch, because you’re smarter than Thomas Jefferson and George Washington. So tell them, brain trust, how much better you’ve got it all figured out. You go to Boston and Philadelphia, hell, you walk down the street in Washington DC and you find a monument, won’t be hard, to those who created this land of the free, and you tell them eh, it’s all malleable, it’s all changing with the times, and your new pet war on Islam and on democracy means more than their suffering, struggling and death. You tell them that, and I swear, if they don’t come back to life just to smite your worthless ass, I’ll gladly declare you the winner of the argument.

It’s been known for a long time that these people have no respect for the law, no respect for the facts and no understanding of history, but they claim to love America. In prose and verse and song on the capitol steps, they claim they love America. I don’t think they even get America, much less love it. To paraphrase Alanis Morissette which is not something I do lightly, they wine-dine-69 America but don’t hear a damn word she says. I think they say they love America like a stockbroker says he loves a hooker before he puts a ball-gag in her mouth and a bear trap on her ankle. It’s a convenient fiction that allows them to have their hard-on without guilt. On both counts.

Freedom of the press isn’t absolute. Well, maybe this will rile up the editors in Washington and New York. Maybe this will wake ’em up, distract them from snitting at those uncouth bloggers all day long. Freedom isn’t an absolute. Good to know. Maybe you could put that in a bulletin to our troops overseas, Mr. Gonzales. They’ve been told for three years now that they’re defending freedom, spreading freedom, promoting and supporting America’s freedom. Now that freedom’s optional, now that it’s just one menu item on the Discount Fascist Buffet, maybe you could let them know, so that when they walk into an IED, they know exactly what they’re dying for.

Schmuck.

A.