Tumor Has “Bush” Growth Removed From It’s Back

This just in from the world of medicine.

Squamous C. Carcinoma had a tumor removed from her back in early November. The procedure was not disclosed until Monday night.

The tumor was identified as a Laura Bush, a malignant First Lady that is responsible for at least one death in the United States and associated with the deaths of hundreds of thousands abroad.

Explaining why the procedure was not disclosed until now, Squamous Carcinoma’s press secretary Susan Basal said, “This medical procedure was a private matter for Squamous, but when asked by the media today, we answered the question.”

In late October, Ms. Carcinoma had a biopsy because the sore was not healing and smoked constantly, Basal said, and it was determined to be a Laura Bush tumor.

Laura Bush cancer is not as dangerous as George Bush cancer, which continues to kill hundreds of people each day.

Artist’s depiction of the malignant Laura Bush tumor.

8 thoughts on “Tumor Has “Bush” Growth Removed From It’s Back

  1. That’s excellent Holden. That’s exactly how I see Laura Bush, a cancerous growth with no redeeming qualities. Just taking up space, on occassion oozing something disgusting. mrstrailerco

  2. you know, i loathe the bush family, but i’ve always felt a real pity for mrs bush. imagine you think you’ve found a way out of the ‘boredom’ of working for a living – e.g. a well connected husband whose family presumably will keep him out of trouble – and he’s a drunk so he can entertain himself. you knock out a couple of kidlets and are living in happy suburban oblivion…
    and then the ass you married gets religion – not the genuine type that could make him a thoughtful caring person, but the type that makes him even more self righteous and obnoxious than usual, and then he becomes a dry drunk so you can’t even count on him to pass out regularly and leave you in peace. Suddenly he’s in campaign mode, appealing to an ugly and stoopid demographic and you have to start appearing with him – and appearing HAPPY with him.
    all you wanted was a mediocre comfortable life and you kept your end of the bargain – you married mediocrity – and now look what happened.
    my sister was employed by an exhibit construction company before the last big republican convention. She worked on sets for “A Salute to Laura Bush”. She described it as if they took really flowery douche packaging and hypersized it. That’s poor mediocre Laura Bush’s life in a nutshell, and i pity her for it. She has no character and therefore will never escape. But she is piteable. nadine

  3. You know Holden,
    Usually I love your work, particularly your gaggle obsession, but this just strikes me as mean spirited.
    Perhaps I’m overly sensitive because my wife recently had surgery to remove a squamous cell carcinoma from her shoulder. While not typically as agressive or as life threatening as melanoma, I can tell you that any diagnosis of cancer, the rabbit hole your family goes down learning about the disease (the risks, the choices, the ramifications), the expense, the insurance forms, and the resulting surgery and scars (both mental and physical) are no joke. It’s not something I would wish on anybody, even someone I despise as much as the Bushes.

  4. Rereading the piece, I fail to find an instance where I wished that Laura Bush would contract cancer.
    -HC

  5. nadine. think lauWa id very happy she picked the knobshine. her future looks good. she is a bitch.

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