Your President Speaksapalooza, Part I: Everybody

Chimpy gave a series of interviews to representatives of the foreign press today in hopes of burnishing his image before he travels to the G8 meeting next week.

Let’s kick it off with the roundtable interview with foreign print media.

Learned How To Pronounce “Hospitable”, Doesn’t Know What It Means

I feel very strongly that the United States must take the lead in promoting democracy around the world — even in places where it may not look like it could — that it’s very hospitable, because I believe, ultimately, it is hospitable.

Guard Your Neck, Angela

Of course, I’m anxious to see the Chancellor. She and I have got a very strong relationship.

He Remembered Poland

By the way, in the case of the Czech Republic, Poland, Italy, and, to a certain extent, Bulgaria, and definitely Germany, there’s a lot of — obviously, you know, Americans who are very interested in this trip. Polish Americans are — there’s a lot of them and they really love their country of origin, their grandfathers’ country of origin.

Explains The Lack Of Poetry

Sometimes I’m not poetic enough to describe what it’s like to be in the presence of the Holy Father. It is a moving experience. And I have not been in the presence of this particular Holy Father.

Never In Thinking Mode

I’m looking forward to hearing him. He’s a good thinker and a smart man. I’ll be in a listening mode.

How To Make Friends

And then Prime Minister Prodi, with whom I’ve had a long relationship. I knew him when he was the head of the EU. I can remember, fondly remember riding my mountain bike as hard as I could as he was jogging along the beaches in Georgia, needling him on the way by — a sign of close friendship.

Ignore The Two Failed Wars

And we’ve got a darn good record.

Achieve Political Objective – The Global War On Articles Continues

It’s aimed at rogue regimes that would use a missile to achieve political objective or to create unrest.

Ted Pisses Him Off

THE PRESIDENT: Teodor. Ted.

Q Teodor. You can call me Ted.

THE PRESIDENT: Call me W.

[snip]

THE PRESIDENT: Let me finish, Ted.

Ted Pisses Him Off — AGAIN

THE PRESIDENT: One more round? All right, Ted. Is it, “Ted?”

Q Yes, you can call me, “Ted.” (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: You already told me that once. I forgot.

[snip]

THE PRESIDENT: Let me finish, Ted.

Us Reaching Out

Angela Merkel was very instrumental in us reaching out to the Russians; she was deeply concerned about the ramifications of this decision.

Frequently Confused

We believe that actions taken in Estonia, for example — in relation to the actions taken in Estonia were — it sent a confusing signal to us.

Easier That You Can FInd

As a matter of fact, I have found that it’s easier to disagree on issues when you have a cordial relationship. It means you can discuss your differences without hostility, which makes it easier that you can find common ground.

What If The Proliferators Are Suiciders?

It’s in the world’s interest that the United States and Russia and other nations work together to stop proliferators from being able to get a hold of materials that could end up harming innocent people.

Do You Deal With Them That Ends Up?

And the fundamental question in world diplomacy is, how do you deal with the differences? Do you deal with them that ends up, hopefully, creating more opportunities for cooperation, or do you deal with them in such a way as it creates — it widens gulfs and creates more antagonisms?

Oy-Yoy-Yoy

I tell people what I believe based upon certain principles. But it’s going to be in such a way that treats people with respect.

There Is Jobs

And there’s jobs as a result of our airplane deal, there’s capital investment, there is more transparency in our relationship.

Chokes On “Human Dignity”

The common values are respect for human life, human –and dignity.

What He Believes He Believes

I believe he believes — look, I don’t want to put words in his mouth — I hope he believes in the universality of freedom, because I certainly do. In other words, freedom is not just a Western ideal. It’s just not the ideal that some people — it’s universal in application.

It Was Like, Awesome, Dude

Part of having good relations with a country is being in a position to talk about religious freedoms. I would remind him that I have been to church in China, and actually found it to be a spiritual experience. It wasn’t, like, fake; it was real.

Just A Bit

Q Mr. President, for better or worse, you undoubtedly changed modern history of this vote. I mean, are you happy with your decisions? Are you comfortable with your decisions? Are you listening to criticism around the world?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, there’s a little bit of criticism out there, evidently.

Amazing Question

No, no, not at all. Matter of fact, I was amazed by — he asked, do I feel abandoned.

There Is A Lot Of People

There’s a lot of people in Iraq that committed resources and manpower and effort.

He’s Not Your Roomate From College

Klaus-Dieter. My roommate in college was Rob Dieter. He was from Florida, though. You’re Klaus-Dieter. Okay.

Klaus-Dieter Pisses Him Off

Q Mr. President, in the run-up to the G8 meeting, our energy — our climate change turnout will be a divisive issue, at least to the German press.

THE PRESIDENT: Really? You mean you want it to be divisive.

Q No, not at all.

THE PRESIDENT: Are you going to go in open-minded?

Q Yes, I’m always open-minded.

THE PRESIDENT: That’s good.

Q Yes, I’m always open-minded.

THE PRESIDENT: That’s good. Is that the case —

Q Always.

[snip]

THE PRESIDENT: No, look, first of all, your opening question was, the German press is looking for conflict, is that what you said? I don’t want to misquote you.

Holy Trainwreck!

And I also bring a very good record, because the truth of the matter is, technology is going to enable us to meet two objectives — or three objectives, in the U.S. case: one, energy independent; two, economic vitality and growth — and as an active trading partner with the United States, you would want us to be economically strong, you don’t want your trading partner to be weak, there would be nothing to trade with; and, finally, a strong steward of the environment, and technology is going to lead us there.

What Germany Got A Lot Of

Wouldn’t it be remarkable when we have a breakthrough to develop fuel to run our automobiles from wood chips? You got a lot of wood in Germany.

Marcin Pisses Him Off

Q Yes, last time you were in Eastern Europe, last year in Estonia and Latvia, you promised changes in visa regime for your close allies. Now many months —

THE PRESIDENT: I promised I would work on it.

Q Many months went by.

THE PRESIDENT: Marcin, make sure you quote me correctly.

Drain Bamage

This is an issue that your leaders have spoken very candidly with me.

No, It’s What Happens When You Travel

First of all, when you go to free societies, you tend to see protesters. Freedom of speech, that’s what we’re talking about. It’s what happens when you travel.

The Global War On Articles Continues

Secondly, Italy is making significant contribution — police training, judicial training.

Comfortable Enough Of Sharing

And that’s really what matters, is the ability to talk to each other in such a way that if we have information that is beneficial for one or the other, we’re comfortable enough of sharing that information so we can protect ourselves.

What The Ideologues Have Got

This enemy is dangerous. These are ideologues who have got ambitions.

David Gregory’s Kids Were In The Room

And they’ll kill you like that in order to achieve their objectives, make no mistake about it.

Lost Track Of Time

Q Just 18 months from now your second term expires. And very crucial events happened during both your terms, and crucial decisions were taken here in this building. What world and what future for this great country do you envision in the next, say, 10 to 25 years from now?

THE PRESIDENT: Thanks. I do have — I don’t know, 19 months?

Q Eighteen.

THE PRESIDENT: Who’s counting?

The Tax Decider

A lot to do here at home, too — keep taxes low; I’m a tax cutter.

One Man, Two Names

I remind people about my Japanese friend, Prime Minister Koizumi, now Prime Minister Abe, Shinzo Abe, a good guy.

Worries From Sole-Source Supplier

My goal is to make us nearly totally independent from foreign sources of oil. And that ought to be the goal of a nation that worries from sole-source supplier, that you ought to figure out different ways to do it.

Get Yourself Some Coal!

And when that technology comes to fruition, if you can get yourself some coal, you’ve got your ability to diversify away from sole-source supplier of energy.

There Is Enormous Sums

But there’s enormous sums of money going into the private markets, as well, because people see economic opportunity can be derived by new energy technologies.

Work More Wiser

Competition is healthy. It yields better product for consumers. It makes us all work more efficiently and wiser in the end.

3 thoughts on “Your President Speaksapalooza, Part I: Everybody

  1. gene214 says:

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Somebody shut him the fuck up already!!

  2. caliph garrett says:

    Man, just trying to read that tripe makes my head throb.

  3. JHM says:

    Let’s see —
    There once was a Pope lived in Rome,
    Something something home
    I’ve never been in his presence
    Maybe he’d like me to bring him a present . . .
    If I’m ever back in Rome again.

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