17 thoughts on “Weekend Question Thread

  1. Awareness, a bit like the concept of mindfulness in Buddhism. There’s a story where one brother says to another ‘How can you love me when you don’t know what ails me?’ and I think that’s true. It’s kind of like A.’s amazing ‘Love isn’t feelings’ post. You can’t shovel the walk for somebody who is sick unless you notice they are sick. You can’t help somebody move that old piano unless you know they have to move an old piano. Most people don’t just communicate verbally. There are a million signals to see if you are just aware. I like people who are aware.

  2. Honesty.
    I see absolutely no difference between a liar and a petty thief.
    One steals your stuff, the other steals the truth and trust. Without truth and trust, everything else falls apart.

  3. I’m sort of evenly split between answering “integrity” and “a sense of humour.” I gravitate towards funny people, and I can’t abide someone who can doublethink or has a floating ethical compass.

  4. Kindness.
    Most everyone I know is a liar to one extent of another. I’m not certain I would want a circle of friends who were unrelentingly honest.
    But kindness. I can never have too much of it, and its absence grinds on my soul…

  5. Honesty/consistency
    I don’t mind harsh honesty as such. It saved my ass on a few occasions. I’d rather someone be brutally honest with me about something important than have someone lie because they wanted to spare my feelings.
    However, there is a lot to be said for kindness. MEAN PEOPLE SUCK.

  6. Ray, I discovered long ago that I was going to be disappointed by others whether I had expectations or not, so I decided to set minimum expectations and be up front about them. That way, when I told people I was disappointed, they’d know why.
    So my expectations? No games-playing (which I guess is another way of putting integrity and/or honesty). The greatest disappointments of my life have been when I thought I was in a great situation, only to have the rug pulled out from under me. I can even live with periods of unkindness, as long as I know where they’re coming from and why. (Besides, I can choose to avoid unkind people. But it’s hard to avoid people who are sneaky about their unkindness.)

  7. True compassion (not the “oh sure I feel sorry forthem, but couldthey please suck a little less?” kind)

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