Kent Conrad’s Proposed Solutions

Without offsets:


We enacted these tax cuts, there was no job creation, debt exploded,
and only the wealthiest of the wealthy profited. So tell me, Mr. Fiscal
Conservative Kent Conrad, why should we not let the tax cuts for the
rich expire?

Allow me to speak for Kent here:

It’s actually pretty simple. What’s going to happen is we’ll just cut the Department of Education, probably eliminate Social Security or raise the retirement age to 79 or so (since I once knew somebody who lived to be 97 and was perfectly healthy), and we’ll make a 1600 SAT score mandatory for receiving food stamps.

We’ll make sure nobody wounded in one of our AWESOME wars can get an aspirin without paying $700 for it, our cops and firefighters can use equipment from 50 years ago (they built things to last back then!) so long as it doesn’t actively electrocute them, and the water mains around here should be good for another 120 years or so.

There are private corporate foundations to provide support for the arts, and really, who DOESN’T want to enjoy the kind of productions Pfizer would put on? Our universities can continue servicing Unilever in the academic equivalent of the tavern alley, because we certainly can’t afford all that nonsense about higher education. Libraries? Please, I have the Internet, so you don’t need books.

The widows and the orphans? They should have been more careful with their spouses and their parents, so as not to lose them so easily. Besides, we’re a Christian nation, let the churches take care of them. BP’s gonna take care of the Gulf cleanup. You say we’re still hosed from Hurricane Katrina, but those people should have evacuated anyway, so we don’t owe them.

There will be plenty of “offsets” found by systematically fucking over this country with a rusty chainsaw, and if you think it’s going to be any more complicated than that, I have a new well-capping procedure with a made-for-TV theme song name I’d like to sell you.

One of these days I want to be wrong about some of this shit, I really do.


2 thoughts on “Kent Conrad’s Proposed Solutions

  1. It truly amazes me that we have to keep having this conversation. In 1980, Reagan could claim that supply-side economics would work because it hadn’t really been tried in the post-Depression American economy. But today, after 30 years of supply-side EPIC FAIL, why does anyone with an IQ above room temperature even consider this shit? We ought to laugh these people right out of the room. The fact that so many people still buy into this idiocy is just baffling. Sure, Faux News is a great propaganda network, but are people’s memories so short that they can’t remember how much it sucked just two years ago?

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