I have a confession: I love Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi because of his exuberant awfulness. He’s likely to say or do anything and quite literally steps on his dick at least once a month. Silvio’s run as the luckiest man in European politics seems to be running out. Why? It’s because of <drum roll> Bunga-Bunga. What the hell is that?I’ll let the vestigal Newsweek explain:
A year ago, the ex-wife of Silvio Berlusconi publicly asked whether he was ill when she announced their divorce. Now Italian media and others are wondering the same thing, as the country is rocked by a salacious new sex scandal that involves the prime minister, a teenage prostitute, a bevy of nude women, and something called bunga-bunga.
This is not the first time that the 74-year-old, center-right prime minister has been caught up in this kind of scandal. Just last year he wasforced to deny charges that he had paid for sex and become involved with a teenage girl. This time he is alleged to have invited a prostitute, Karima el-Mahroug—better known as Ruby the Heartbreaker, and who was 17 at the time—to at least two parties at his villa near Milan this year, and to have showered her with cash and expensive jewelry. Ruby, a Moroccan belly dancer who is now 18, has testified in front of Milan’s prosecutors that one of these parties included “bunga-bunga,” a kind of orgy. The party supposedly featured a naked Berlusconi and 20 nude female guests.
Ruby has denied having sex with Berlusconi and has said she lied to him about her age, telling him she was 24. She added that Berlusconi explained bunga-bunga was a ritual he had imported from the Libyan leader. “Silvio told me that he’d copied that formula fromMuammar Kaddafi,” she said to prosecutors. “It’s a ritual of his [Kaddafi’s] African harem,” she added, according to the dailyLa Repubblica, which also reported that the prime minister called Milan police to try to get the teenager out of trouble when she was arrested in a separate theft case, telling the cops she was a relative of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. That claim then forced Egypt’s embassy in Rome to deny any link between Ruby and Mubarak, the report said.
In the past, the Italian people have been quite tolerant of, and patient with, Silvio’s raging libido. (Italy and the Gret Stet have much in common.) Things seem to finally be moving against Berlusconi: he barely survived a recent no confidence vote and is losing coalition members who don’t object to being led by a horny philanderer but dislike his clowinishness and buffoonery. He’s acting more like Roberto Benigni than Marcello Mastroanni. Even his supporters wish that he’d retire to Capri like his fellow lecherus maximus Tiberius. He could go there and bunga-bunga to his heart’s content.
Also, who on earth wants to emulate Muammar Kadhafi? The dude is a fucking weirdo. He travels around with a fucking tent fer chrissake. And pitches it wherever he goes. Pun intended. Muammar and Silvio should zip it up and go back to the freaking circus where they belong. From Bunga-Bunga to the big top, it’s all in a day for Europe’s silliest leader.
I have one more thing to say: Bunga-Bunga rhymes with cowabunga, dude.
Actually, I lied. I love the image of Ruby the Heartbreaker because it presents so many musical possibilities. But instead of taking her love to town or introducing Benmont Tench on keyboards, I’m going in this direction:
Oops, I lied again. There’s a Glen Tilbrook tune that’s also on point, at least punwise. And puns are like mother’s milk to me, y’all. From Bunga-Bunga to Binga Bong: