Malaka Of The Week: Fred Heebe

Fred Heebe is abig macherin Louisiana politics and has been an egregious malaka for years. In 2001, then Gov. Mike Foster urged his huntin’ buddy Dubya to appoint Heebe US Attorney. Unfortunately for Heebe, allegations of spousal abuse surfaced and his nomination was withdrawn. Heebe, however, has continued to be one of the most influential crony capitalists in Jefferson Parish.

Right now, Heebe is in a world of hurt because of allegations swirling like gnats around a landfill that he owns. Heebe’s buddy, former JP President Aaron Broussard, is under indictment for non-garbage related charges but the US Attorney’s office is investigating the hell out of his ties to Heebe. Broussard is best known outside the Gret Stet for crying on teevee right after Katrina and locally for having abandoned his toupee after the storm. Not sure if the sucker floated away but whatever happened to it, Aaron has been going au naturel since 2005.

End of exposition. Heebe is back in the news because he’s suing an anonymous commenter on NOLA.comwho Freddy the malaka claims is an Assistant US Attorney:

Landfill magnate Fred Heebe filed a civil defamation suit Monday against a frequent commenter on NOLA.com, alleging that the commenter — who uses the handle “Henry L. Mencken1951” — is actually an assistant U.S. attorney. The suit says that Heebe does not know the commenter’s real name “with certainty,” but it speculates that the commenter is AssistantU.S. Attorney Sal Perricone.

According to the suit, Heebe enlisted a former FBI profiler to review 595 comments left by “Henry L. Mencken” below stories posted on NOLA.com.

The comments were compared to legal filings made by federal prosecutors in their sweeping probe of the River Birch landfill, which is co-owned by Heebe and his father-in-law. The profiler found striking similarities in the language, the suit says.

The petition notes that “Mencken” uses obscure words, such as “dubiety” and “redoubt,” that also appear in federal filings in the River Birch case.

The suit says the analysis was conducted by forensic linguist James Fitzgerald whose work for the FBI “proved instrumental” in the arrest and successful prosecution of Ted Kaczynski as the Unabomber, following a lengthy investigation that included analysis of the mail bomber’s writings.

Perricone is one of the lead prosecutors in the River Birch probe. The suit says Perricone was one of the authors of a nine-page filing Fitzgerald compared to “Mencken’s” posts, and it notes that Perricone was born in 1951.

Learned comments are *very* rare on NOLA.com, which is home to racist and sexist trolls as opposed to people who say shit like this:

The record on NOLA.com doesn’t establish “Mencken’s” identity. But it does show him to be a man of many strong opinions.

He disparages a person defending traffic cameras on Henry Clay Avenue as a “typical uptowner,” adding: “This is just another example of elitism in New Orleans — the great sliver of loam — that some people feel, depending on their ZIP code, that they can impose their ersatz nobility on the rest of the population. … Henry Clay is a public street, and you are complicit in with the city in setting up a Mississippi-like speed trap in your gilded vicinage. What’s next, Rex as the traffic court judge?”

It *almost* makes me want to read the comments at NOLA.com again BUT I’ll continue to abstain. Heebe’s lawsuit appears to be a gambit to screw up the investigation into his slimy malakatude. It has also opened a can of worms as to the free speech rights of anonymous internet commenters. If the Mencken acolyte is indeed AUSA Perricone, he’s in deep shit and sinking fast; especially since the erudite troll bashed US Attorney Jim Letten as a showboat and glory hog. Truth is certainly a defense in that instance: Letten is also <ahem> a drummer. Say no more.

Fred Heebe may be a malaka but he’s a smart malaka. He’s the target of a federal investigation and is hoping to prove bias and prosecutorial misconduct, which could seriously damage the case against him. It should be interesting to see how this plays out and I’ll keep y’all updated.

Btw, I hope I’ll get a few plaudits for NOT making the obvious pun on this week’s malaka’s last name. Been there, done that.

UPDATE: Perricone is indeed the commenter with the Mencken moniker. This plot is thicker than a figgy pudding.

4 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Fred Heebe

  1. MichaelF says:

    Sounds like a couple of machers based on the articles…and to paraphrase a quote from yet another macher, one Henry Kissinger, it’s a shame they both can’t lose.

  2. The Bobs says:

    Those of us who remember the unabomber know that he was turned in by his brother, not a forensic linguist.

  3. MapleStreet says:

    Stupid of Perricone to give Heebe this “out” by commenting publically on a case either under investigation or pending trial. Next step would be to look at the IP addresses and/or time of postings to potentially show that the comments were made on the government’s dime.
    What is it with Heebe’s hair in the pictures on the links? I know NOLA is windy. But this is worse than my hair in the wind.

  4. Adrastos says:

    @The Bobs: I agree completely. I think someone at the USA’s office leaked it to Heebe.
    @Maple Street: He does have weird hair. It kinda looks like hair extensions or something.

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