You Don’t Get to Talk About Plantations

Look. You don’t get to do this.You just don’t. I know it’s some kind of intolerable burden on my fellow white people, not being able to say shit that can be said by Al Sharpton or Will.i.am or whoever the fuck we’re deciding represents All Black People for us this week. I know it’s really hard, when other people can use words without censure and then you try to use the same words and it’s bad, but that happens because you’re fucking stupid, so get over yourself.

There is an entire English language available to you, Joe Walsh. There is an entire squillion other languages, too, if you weren’t such a xenophobic hoover attachment, but you are, so there’s at least an entire English language in which you can say all kind of shit about how you feel Jesse Jackson is oppressing black people.

You can say all kinds of shit. You can make all kinds of points about whether the policies advocated by various black leaders will benefit black people enough or at all. You will still be wrong, because you’re Joe Walsh and being right is like your kryptonite, but you will be wrong without unduly embarrassing yourself and sounding like granddad at the party in 1880.

I don’t know why this is so hard for people to get. To listen to them bitch, the worst oppression these teawads have ever experienced is not being able to throw the n-word and its associated rhetoric around without somebody going, “Erm. Pal. No.” To listen to them whine and complain, giving them the side-eye when they haul slavemaster terminology out of the filthy armoires where they keep their speechwriters is pretty much JUST LIKE putting them in chains. But we all have things that are not on the table for others to use in an argument. We all have things we really don’t own and therefore shouldn’t claim.

We’re not having a word shortage. There are plenty of ways to call Jesse Jackson a dick. You could, for example, talk to and listen to actual alive people about Jesse Jackson’s work (including, one presumes, Jesse Jackson, because you are in Congress and he would probably take your call) and get some suggestions. But no, you want to make glib stupid fucking cracks about plantations because that’s the first thing that jumps into your empty head.

Because that’s how you think of black people. Because that’s your go-to image, right there on top of the pile.

A.

4 thoughts on “You Don’t Get to Talk About Plantations

  1. MapleStreet says:

    Perhaps being from Illinois, he thought he was one state over in Missouri and got his idea from the lyrics of the state song, The Missouri Waltz.

  2. PWL says:

    This cat’s a winner all the way around: not only a deadbeat dad (Rick Warren must have a very strange idea of what a Family Values Legislator is), but a horse’s ass as well. One question: how did his guy ever get elected? He’s the kind best left alone, dead drunk in his man-cave, muttering his obnoxious shit to himself…

  3. MarcD says:

    Remember that this is the asshat named Family Values Legislator of the Year by Rick Warren. Even though he owed six figures in back child support. His child support case was dismissed in April after reaching a settlement with his ex wife. His defense at the time was that his salary (six figures as a member of Congress) didn’t afford him the luxury of, you know, raising his kids.
    It shouldn’t surprise us that Rep. Massengill (DBAG – IL) feels he is superior African Americans, too.

  4. “squillion” … you made me look it up. This is why I love the internet.

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