George H.W. Bush is too good for the Republican National Convention.
Let me repeat that. George H.W. Bush, whose pardons ended any chance of anyone being punished for the Iran-Contra cover-up and whose government denied for years that any veterans suffered as a result of the first Gulf War, is too good for a Republican National Convention at which Donald Trump will be nominated.
(Donald Trump’s policies, at this point, have killed exactly nobody.
Can’t say the same for Bush the First.)
You know who else is too good for the Republican National Convention? George W. Bush. You might remember him from such productions as, What Weapons of Mass Destruction? and Oh, Were You Using New Orleans, America? Sorry My Bad. His minor hits include Dude Where’s Bin Laden and My War Killing Your Kid is No Excuse to Be Rude.
That man is too good for a Republican National Convention at which Donald Trump will be nominated.
John McCain is too good for a Republican National Convention at which Donald Trump will be nominated. John McCain has had many sympathetic articles written about the terrible position in which Donald Trump’s existence puts him, as if John McCain is a powerless creature, like say an undocumented immigrant who might be deported if Donald Trump becomes president.
Nobody is in a more terrible position than John McCain, who has to worry about his image and other stuff that is not real, so John McCain has decided he’s too good for a Republican National Convention at which Donald Trump will be nominated.
(Donald Trump is not half as dumb as Sarah Palin, who sat back and let the McCain campaign blame her for their miserable, nasty, racist loss in 2008. Donald Trump’s Tweets generally make sense, especially when he’s shit-talking Republicans. Palin still can’t find a coherent thought with a searchlight and a posse.)
And Mitt Romney is too good for a Republican National Convention at which Donald Trump will be nominated. Mitt Romney is too good for the voters who genuflected when he rolled out Donald Trump’s endorsement four years ago, too good for the voters who tried to put him into office despite a nasty, racist, small-minded campaign based on the idea that America needed to be meaner to poor people. Mitt Romney, who no one liked but everyone supported because party loyalty and who else would line up to lose to Obama, has basically told all 58 million people who voted for him to fuck themselves.
(He said that during the campaign, too, but like, nicer.)
I swear, it becomes less of a mystery every day, the alienation and anger of the GOP base. If you did this to me, decided to skip the party I planned AFTER I printed your name on all the balloons, I’d set your gift table on fire. Upend the cake into the pool. The petting zoo would be profoundly unsafe.
I’d release some snakes. See how much fun the pony rides are THEN.
In the five days since Donald Trump’s last remaining rivals quit, it’s been amazing, watching the GOP turn its back on its own voters. They are publicly, loudly, emphatically declaring they are too good for their own voters, and it’s amazing to watch.
Look, Donald Trump should not be president and come November I’mma quit my job and follow Hillary’s campaign around in a panel van if it seems like that’s what’s necessary to keep this racist prick out of the White House. But Trump didn’t win the Republican nomination by cheating and he didn’t win by stuffing the ballot box and he didn’t sneak in the side entrance after paying off the parking attendants. He got where he is completely fairly, by getting the most votes out of anyone else during the Republican primaries the Republican party planned.
So for former presidents and former nominees for president of this party to come out and basically say they’re too good to associate with the person their voters picked, well, I’ve never seen such institutional loathing for the people who pay the institution’s bills, and I’m a Democrat.
Donald Trump has done nothing to these former presidents and nominees (other than call John McCain a pussy, which is what McCain let his party do to John Kerry for a year NO I’M NOT OVER IT) to excuse them throwing a temper tantrum like this.
Lots of other Republican senators and congressmen — are trying to get some political capital out of pretending to be above Trump. There’s some hay to be made there, given the gullibility of our political press, the willingness to give Republicans politicians the benefit of the doubt when it comes to motives and meaning.
But presidents? Nominees? People for whom other people worked and voted and fought? They don’t get to turn their backs and pretend they have nothing to do with where the party is and who it’s with. They don’t get to be above it all. They benefitted for years from the votes of the people who voted for Trump and from their hard work and their loyalty.
They’re too good for their own people? What are they thinking? That the voters they trained to hold grudges close will forgive the Bushes, McCains and Romneys in an instant if Trump loses? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Those voters already hate McCain and Romney for being miserable losers, and the Bushes are making themselves more irrelevant by the hour. Those voters will not forget that their leaders abandoned them.
It’s why Trump got as far as he did in the first place.
ps. Good for Bob Dole. A free lunch is a free lunch, especially when you’re NINETY FREAKING TWO. Don’t turn down food at that point. Get at the buffet table.