Malaka Of The Week: Susan Collins

I realize that Maine Senator Susan Collins is overqualified for the weekly honor. She belongs in the malakatude hall of fame. But she just did something so horrible and so contrary to her media brand that I had to write about it today. And that is why Susan Collins is malaka of the week.

The MSM insists on calling Susan Collins a moderate when she’s a bog standard GOPer who almost always votes the party line. She did, however, vote to convict in the second Trump impeachment trial. Other than that, she votes like a conservative and talks like a moderate. I believe in judging a senator by how they vote, not the shit they say. Malaka Sue talks a lot of shit, y’all.

Senator Collins just announced that she’s endorsing former Maine governor Paul LePage in his bid regain his old job. LePage has been living off-and-on in Florida since leaving office in disgrace in 2018. LePage is best described as a proto-Trump. He was malaka of the week in August of 2016. You know what they say, malakas of a feather flock together. Actually, only I say that.

LePage was such an asshole as governor that Charlie Pierce gave him this nickname:

Paul LePage is like Archie Bunker without the underlying humanity that Carroll O’Connor brought to the role. He’s a dick, prick, asshole, and malaka.

In 2010, LePage was the teabagger’s teabagger. And Susan Collins wants him as her governor again. Really, Sue?

Charges of hypocrisy don’t bother Malaka Sue. She’s forever teasing moderation while voting like a wingnut. Remember the Kavanaugh mess? She mouthed pious platitudes then voted for an accused rapist and verifiable shitbag. It’s what she does. Schmuck or is that schmuckette?

Speaking of hypocrisy, Collins’ 2020 campaign against Sarah Gideon focused on the fact that the latter is a transplant, not a native Mainer. Now Malaka Sue is supporting Florida Man LePage. Oy, just oy.

The MSM will continue to lazily label Susan Collins a moderate. They’re confusing her with former Maine Republican senators Bill Cohen and Olympia Snowe. They were genuine moderates; Susan Collins is one of the hackiest hacks whoever hacked me off. And that is why Susan Collins is malaka of the week.

The last word goes to Dion with a song that should be Malaka Sue’s theme song:

 

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