Rudy, Lindsey & The Cheese

The post title is not a rock super group a la Blind Faith, The Firm, CSN, or BLT. Not sure if any of them can carry a tune but, along with other Trumper shysters, they’ve all been subpoenaed by a special grand jury convened by Fulton County DA Fani Willis. Apologies for the long sentence; shifting into lawyer mode does that to me. I’ll try to be better.

Ever since the Dipshit Insurrection Committee shifted into high gear, the other BIG LIE investigations have followed suit. I’ve long thought that the strongest case against the Impeached Insult Comedian was in Georgia because of the “perfect” phone calls he kept making; one of which was to B Raffi, his new arch-nemesis who taped the long-winded former guy. So much for being better windy sentence wise.

Enough with the perfectly imperfect phone calls, let’s get back to the word I cannot spell on my own: subpoenas. It never looks right. In fact, it looks downright sub-par.

Here’s how the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s political blog The Jolt characterized the subpoenas:

  • U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham made “at least two” calls to Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger’s office in late 2020 to urge him to reexamine “certain absentee ballots” to help Trump close the gap.
  • Trump aide Ken Chesebro was apparently intimately involved in the Georgia GOP’s plot to put forth sham electors in December 2020. The subpoena said he worked with chair David Shafer and others to coordinate the slate of phony electors and he drafted at least two memos to back the fraudulent scheme.
  • Prosecutors are intensely interested in the Dec. 3, 2020 Senate Judiciary Subcommittee hearing that then-state Sen. William Ligon held with Giuliani that featured doctored video of Fulton County elections staffers counting ballots. That’s why Jenna Ellis and Jacki Pick Deason, a podcaster, were also subpoenaed.

We already know that Rudy lied in his testimony to the Georgia lege. He showed the discredited video that smeared Shaye Moss and Lady Ruby Freeman. That was no way to treat a lady, Rudy.

The whole thing sounds like an odd couple romcom: When Rudy Met Ruby. It’s really more like this serial killer movie set in New York City:

In that movie, the murderer dressed in drag, which evokes this image from Rudy’s checkered past:

Instead of people, Rudy is trying to murder democracy in service of his lord and master, the Kaiser of Chaos. FYI, the future president* buried in his head in Lady Rudy’s cleavage during this interaction. Class, nothing but class.

Back to the grand jury. I’m intrigued by the subpoena served on Trump sycophant, Senator Lindsey Graham. I doubt if they can prove criminality but it’s unusual for a US senator from a neighboring state to interfere in an election. If he tells the truth under oath, he’s unlikely to be charged unlike the parade of shysters also called to testify. They’re a coven of corrupt creeps.

The last member of our Trumpy super group is The Cheese DBA Kenneth Chesebro. He’s an odd fit with Trump’s merry band of litigious lunatics as we learned last month from TPM’s Josh Kovensky:

“While a student at Harvard Law School, Chesebro received a prestigious position as a research assistant to liberal lion Larry Tribe. Chesebro worked in that role alongside future Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan and a young Jeffrey Toobin, the prominent legal journalist.

I spotted the Tribe connection on Chesebro’s Linkedin profile a few weeks ago. When I reached out to Tribe to inquire about their relationship, Tribe said he had only learned this year that his former mentee had worked for Trump after reading a series of memos published in February by the New York Times.

“I was stunned to see that Ken Chesebro had wound up as part of Team Trump,” Tribe said in a phone interview earlier this month. “

Not only is The Cheese a Trump shyster, he let down Larry Fucking Tribe. I hereby thank The Cheese for giving me an excuse to link to one of my all-time favorite posts. Twice, no less.

Instead of providing MS Word templates for fake electors, The Cheese should have cheesed it. I could make cheese jokes all day, but I should stop. This image from Monty Python’s cheese shop sketch will suffice:

The Trump legal shop is equally threadbare and empty. They’ll try to excuse the inexcusable, but prosecutors are on their trail. Fani Willis is assembling a compelling case against former President* Pennwyise. He thinks that declaring his candidacy early will somehow protect him from prosecution.  Stay tuned.

The last word goes to Bruce, Lordan & Trower DBA BLT with the opening and closing tracks of their only album: