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Malaka Of The Week: Brett Favre

The featured image is of Brett Favre on the ground during the 2009 NFC championship game against my New Orleans Saints. His team lost the game, but things have gotten worse for the hall of fame QB since he retired from doing the one thing he was good at. And that is why Brett Favre is malaka of the week.

Here’s a Brett Favre oddity: two important things involving him are NOT pronounced phonetically. His name is pronounced Farve and his hometown of Kiln, MS is pronounced Kill. I get the former, not the latter. One would think they’d rather be named after a pottery oven than a form of death. That’s Mississippi for you. I’m glad they’re around to make the Gret Stet of Louisiana look a mite less bad. Just a mite.

Favre style of play was aggressive and often reckless. He holds the NFL record for career interceptions with 336. He’s carried on the same way since his retirement.

Superstar players like Favre think they’re above the rules. Anyone remember the dick pic scandal that, uh, popped up as his football career wound down?

I hereby thank him for giving me the opportunity to write a post called Brett Favre Should Retire Something Else. In a follow up post, I suggested this John Hiatt tune as Favre’s theme song:

Enough of Malaka Brett’s zipper issues in 2010. It’s time to move on to a financial and political scandal in which Favre finds himself embroiled:

“Text messages entered Monday into the state’s ongoing civil lawsuit over the welfare scandal reveal that former Gov. Phil Bryant pushed to make NFL legend Brett Favre’s volleyball idea a reality.

The texts show that the then-governor even guided Favre on how to write a funding proposal so that it could be accepted by the Mississippi Department of Human Services – even after Bryant ousted the former welfare agency director John Davis for suspected fraud.

“Just left Brett Favre,” Bryant texted nonprofit founder Nancy New in July of 2019, within weeks of Davis’ departure. “Can we help him with his project. We should meet soon to see how I can make sure we keep your projects on course.”

When Favre asked Bryant how the new agency director might affect their plans to fund the volleyball stadium, Bryant assured him, “I will handle that… long story but had to make a change. But I will call Nancy and see what it will take,” according to the filing and a text Favre forwarded to New.

The newly released texts, filed Monday by an attorney representing Nancy New’s nonprofit, show that Bryant, Favre, New, Davis and others worked together to channel at least $5 million of the state’s welfare funds to build a new volleyball stadium at University of Southern Mississippi, where Favre’s daughter played the sport. Favre received most of the credit for raising funds to construct the facility.”

This is a huge scandal that goes beyond Brett Favre’s malakatude. The poorest state in the union diverted welfare money to Favre’s pet project. Former Governor Bryant is in deep shit and sinking fast and one of the Magnolia State’s most prominent celebrity athletes has been spattered by the shit storm. Another day, another INT.

 

In a sign that Favre played football with his helmet on, he’s hired former Trump White House lawyer Eric Fucking Herschmann to represent him. Herschmann turned against the Impeached Insult Comedian over the Dipshit Insurrection. He’s known for his salty language and hard ass style. Stay tuned.

Did the curse placed on Favre by my late friend Dr. Michael Homan and his wingman Dr. Mark Gstohl have anything to do with this turn in the Kiln killer’s fortunes?

Here’s the photographic evidence:

Homan, Silent G, and their hench people visited Kiln before the aforementioned big game. I’m disappointed that neither had a black jersey but that’s neither here nor there.

Here’s a thumbnail sketch of what happened provided by the surviving theologian:

We went to Favre field in Kiln, dug up some dirt, and Carol put some in a Brett Favre voodoo doll. I still poke that thing! Michael also brought some of the dirt to the Superdome where we dumped it in a urinal and a bunch of folks peed on it.

The curse worked in 2010, is it still in effect in 2022?

Brett Favre should be ashamed of himself. The evidence shows that he knew his volleyball chicanery was wrong, but he did it anyway. It was reminiscent of when he threw into double coverage as a player and was intercepted. And that is why Brett Favre is malaka of the week.

The last word goes to Neil Young. It could be the theme song of the whole damn scandal:

UPDATE: I got a reply to my pub Tweet by Ms. Silent G. Carol included a picture of the voodoo doll.