Malaka Of The Week: Jonathan Turley

I was acquainted with Jonathan Turley when I attended Tulane Law School. I wrote about that in a 2019 post,  Talking Turley. He was a do-gooder liberal then, which is why his time in New Orleans is barely mentioned in his self-laudatory bio at his web site. Over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that he joined the faculty at George Washington Law School because it increased his opportunities to get on teevee. And that is why Jonathan Turley is malaka of the week.

That was a long introduction, wasn’t it? Turley is long-winded, so it’s a perfect fit.

Turley is a maddening public figure. When he moved to Washington, he assessed the media landscape and swung to the right to maximize his chances to bloviate on cable news. His timing was perfect: Fox News was founded in 1996. As an air-quotes liberal, Turley was perfect for Roger Ailes and company. He was willing to blow with the media wind and the prevailing breeze was from the right.

Initially, Professor Malaka presented himself as a disappointed liberal who spoke out because he was appalled by Clinton’s zipper issues. He was for the Clinton impeachment and against the Trump impeachments. In Turley think a blow job is worse than an attempted coup.

Turley has subsequently attached himself to every hot-button issue espoused by the far-right. His current pose is as a disinterested legal scholar searching for the truth. What he’s actually searching for is the spotlight.

Last week, Turley testified about the Twitter files before Gym Jordan’s fakakata subcommittee. He assumed his expertise was a given but  seemed to know little about the matter at hand. Unlike her colleague Dan Goldman, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz isn’t known as a skilled questioner but she ran circles around Turley who testified at the hearing because he’s the media whore’s media whore.

Give Professor Malaka credit for being a sad clown, Aaron. He’s the Emmett Kelly of media whores.

That’s Turley in the middle surrounded by a Matt Gaetz clown and a Gym Jordan clown.

Note that Kelly and his clown colleagues are drinking coffee. It’s required to help one stay awake during your typical Turley testimony. The man is both a boor and a bore or is that a boorish bore?

Turley is not only a teevee lawyer, he’s a blogger and pundit. He blogs at It should be called: A Shrine To Jonathan Turley’s Ego. His bio is written in the third-person but the style is eerily similar to that of Professor Malaka or a research assistant whose brief was to tell everyone how awesome Turley is.

As a pundit, Turley specializes in sensationalism in scholarly drag. The title of a column he wrote for the Murdoch Post says it all: Is The Red Scare Going Blue?

No. Next question.

Turley expends 1000 words on this subject without saying much of anything. He has, however, heard of McCarthyism and gets through the piece without reference to cancel culture so there’s that. Who knew that Tulsi Gabbard was a free-speech martyr sacrificed on the altar of liberal McCarthyism? You learn something new every day.

Professor Malaka is all about presentation. He presents himself as a lofty scholar who’s only interested in the facts. Instead, he’s just another greasy hustler on the make. A phrase supposedly originated by Bob Dole comes to mind: The most dangerous place in Washington is between Jonathan Turley and a camera. And that is why Jonathan Turley is malaka of the week.

The last word goes to Utopia:

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