I’ve been meaning to come up with a nickname for Mike Johnson; as one of the one of least colorful Louisiana politicians ever, he needs one. Thus far, I’ve called him MAGA Mike. It’s not bad: it’s alliterative, but it’s not original. I like to coin unique nicknames like my Trump trinity: the Insult Comedian, Kaiser of Chaos, and President Pennywise. I’m pleased when someone else uses them but that’s not the point. What *is* the point? Oh yeah. Back to Mike Johnson.

This week’s craven and cowardly closure of Congress constitutes a capitulation to Trump in furtherance of the Epstein coverup. The House still has work to do: Johnson’s pay should be docked. He’s getting weeks of extra vacation on the taxpayer’s dime. Talk about waste, fraud, and abuse.

I realized yesterday that I had a perfect nickname for this psalm singing son-of-a-bitch: Speaker Yellowbelly. What’s yellower than a politician ducking a controversial vote or cancelling it because they expect to lose. The MAGA right wants the receipts on the Epstein mishigas and they want them now. Got that, Speaker Yellowbelly? Let’s see you slither out of this mess: The Freedom Caucus vipers are coming for you.

Republican House Speakers have short lives in the 21st Century. One was Dennis Hastert who gave Epstein a run for his money in the pervert sweepstakes. Why do MAGA maggots think only Democrats are in the so called Epstein files? It’s a movement based on lies and wishful thinking, that’s why.

When I came up with Speaker Yellowbelly I was thinking of old Westerns with crusty sidekicks like Gabby Hayes and Andy Devine who were wont to call cowards yellowbellies. Did someone say Andy Devine?

Thanks, Frank. Nobody ever called you a yellowbelly. You stood your ground and fought for your principles during the sticker war.

There’s a reason beyond cowardice and sycophancy that I’ve dubbed Mike Johnson, Speaker Yellowbelly. The featured image is of a Yellow-bellied Watersnake. They’re native to North Louisiana just like MAGA Mike Johnson. Unlike Johnson, they’re NOT poisonous. Johnson is poisoning our political system with his abdication of Congressional independence and sycophancy to the Kaiser of Chaos. When Trump says jump, Johnson buys a trampoline before obeying. The subservience, it burns.

I know a snake when I see one. MAGA Mike Johnson is a snake. That’s why I call him Speaker Yellowbelly.

After I wrapped this post up, Johnson had this to say for himself when asked about the House’s early recess:  “There’s no fear here. No, there’s no fear. There’s no fear.”

The only thing MAGA has to fear is MAGA itself. Got that, Speaker Yellowbelly?

The last word goes to some snake songs by Townes Van Zandt, The Doors, and Frank Zappa: