A Texas Chimp in King Arthur’s Court: Athenae & Tena Liveblogging

DAMN these midday speeches. Don’t these people know tequila shooters at this hour are bad for your health?

Tena’s in bold. I’m in a brown sweater and jeans, in case you were wondering.

The general assembly president is warning people not to engage in vigorous congratulations after speeches. I don’t think we’ll have to worry much about that here.

I wonder about the security – he’s so famously chickenshit.

Polite applause as Bush takes the podium.

He’s looking all statesman-y, today, but he’s slurring a bit.

He’s got a full-on smirk today. Bringing the Sept. 11. “Enemies of humanity?” Wow, irony may not be dead but hyperbole just keeled over. “It is clear that the world is engaged in a great ideological struggle.” He’s got such a polar mind. There are terrorists in the world, and then there are moderate people. That’s it.

Campaign of murder? That’s you, W, that’s you motherfucker.

Seriously. “This peaceful world can be ours if we seek it and if we work together.” Work together? Does he listen to himself? Human rights? I mean … I don’t even know what to do with this. There’s stony silence. “A bright future starting to take root in the Middle East.” Is that what the kids are calling murder and violence these days?

Universal Declaration of Human Rights – that should burn your goddamn tongue to say, W.

5 years ago Iraq’s seat was occupied by a dictator who killed his citizens, invaded his neighbors … Now it’s occupied by us, and we kill its citizens and invade its neighbors. America! Fuck yeah!

Moderation – again. Is this a Repug campaign speech? He’s doing that Moderation Dance again.

Democracy in Iraq- yeah, they are democratically torturing everyone.

Continues, click “

There are elections in the Middle East. Apparently he’s taking credit for that. Nice. It had nothing to do with anything happening in any of the countries he’s listing. Nah, it needed George’s white ass to come in and civilize the natives. Who wrote this? Kipling? Helen Bannerman?

Trust their people – like you trust the majority here, W: wiretapping, free speech zones, rigged elections – those are American institutions now – that is you, W, that is you, motherfucker.

No, nobody said the Middle East was stable before we dove in ass-first, you strawman-kicker. People just asked, why do you want to make it WORSE?

Powerless to change their course of government – yeah I know how that feels. You and the Repugs have tried your best to make the majority of Americans powerless to change their government.

This is really something. He’s talking about the nature of people to believe conspiracy theories and blame others for their shortcomings. I would pay good money to have him give this speech to his nutball fundie supporters, because … yeah.

Blame others? Goddamn – project why don’t you, W?

Bush just denied we were at war against Islam. Well, there goes his base. They’re howling in Freeperville and LGF right now. “We respect Islam.”

Yeah, you respect Islam – you and the rest of the Extremist Christians and Pope Ratzi the Nazi.

“Your leaders must rise to the challenges your country is facing.” You first, cupcake. I’ve got some oceanfront property in the New Orleans lower 9th I’d like to sell you.

We won’t yieldtheir future? Just like Vietnam –We say what goes. Yeah, that works.

This is so typically condescending. “We gave you freedom. Why aren’t you perfect?”

“To the people of Iran: the United States respects you. We respect your country. Your many contributions to civilization.” And we willbreak your shit off if you don’t use that civilization our way, so sit up and fly right. I mean, if you’re gonna take it to them, why mouth platitudes first? It’s embarrassing.

Use Iran’s resources to fight extremism – that’s you, W, that’s you, motherfucker.

He’s busting on Syria now. Calling them “a tool of Iran.” The Syrian delegation is doing the crossword. Seriously, they’re all, “What was that, dear?” like at the breakfast table before they’ve had their coffee.

“Rahther” – whoa, that prep school boy just slipped out from behind that good ol’ boy mask.

He seems like he’s running out of steam here. Honestly, looking at this, he’s got two years left, he’s got to be thinking, “How obviously can I phone this in and get out in one piece? I just wanna open my library now.”

Darfur: talk talk talk – genocide – takes one to know one. That’s you W, that’s you, motherfucker.

Aaaaand, we’re done. Would it murder Condi to smile? CNN called that speech a “laundry list of issues.” Which, yeah. If that was the big Iran speech, the majority of it certainly wasn’t about Iran. Richard Roth, who I love, just said “no big new intiative.”

(Apologies to Immortal Technique for stealing his line: “it was you, W, it was you, motherfucker.”)

What a yawn that was. If that was supposed to be the GOP’s big moment leading into the elections, the thing they could use, you may bring me over to your optimistic happy place after all, Tena.


5 thoughts on “A Texas Chimp in King Arthur’s Court: Athenae & Tena Liveblogging

  1. I think I’m falling in love with Tena – I love those sweet things she says about W. When I’m forced to watch him, I go right up to the screen and poke my middle fingers into his eyes when he says something stupid/outrageous/mendacious (which is basically continuously).

  2. Anonymously, How can you NOT be in love with Tena, or Athenae?
    I’ll bet that they get 45-50 marriage proposals a day. And many of them are NOT from inmates!
    I love the image of you (whomever you are) going up to the TV and poking him in the eyes. Personally I flip him off when he is on the TV. Some times I give him the full on DOUBLE flip off if my other hand isn’t in the bag of savory mini sesame crackers from Trader Joes. (which I highly recommend.) BTW, this is not a paid product placement for Trader Joes Savory mini-sesame crackers.

  3. I went over to the White House site to watch the video, but I could not take it for long. He left off the heavy Texas twang today. What a phony – in addition to the monumental smelly pile of his other faults.
    He has no shame whatever, or he could not have mentioned Iraq in connection with any kind of progress. W has no more big moment speeches to offer. He’d just as well phone it in, or let the understudy take the stage. It’s going to be a loooong two years.

  4. Sweet rant Athenae. Love your righteous anger at the murderous, drug-addled cocksucker running our country in the ground, and share it.

  5. I love it when someone uses my choice epithet for this POS. I can’t count how many times I have said it when accidentally coming across his ugly countenace on TV. Even this can’t express the true depth of disgust I feel for this sorry excuse of a human being.

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