That’s my friend Kevin Allman’s pet name for Arianna Huffington nee Stassinopoulous. Hismain beefwith Satan’s Botoxed Handmaiden (hereinafter SBH except for when I need a laugh) is that she talks a “progressive” game whilst “borrowing” content and not paying for it while making a packet herself. I am no longer able to see Arianna without thinking of her as SBH. Thanks, Kevin.

Me, I have other gripes with Arianna. She’s a trendhopping opportunist who gives my ethnic group a bad name. I’m only half Greek but olive oil, lamb’s blood and Grecian hyperbole flow in my veins and I find Arianna to be one of the most annoying people around. If I see her on teevee, I change the channel or hit the forward button on the dvr. Her accent reminds me of one of my more unassimilated and overly dramatic relatives so I hit the mute button as well.

Admittedly, Greek-Americans have a mixed track record in American politics but for every crooked dumbass like Spiro Agnew there’s been aPaul Tsongas. Sure, Tsongas sounded a bit like a Yankee Elmer Fudd but he was whip smart and had a sharp tongue. He was the one who called Bill Clinton “pander bear,” which is one of the funniest lines uttered by a candidate in my lifetime. Michael Dukakis may have been a tone deaf Presidential candidate but he was a fine Governor and an honest, albeit clueless, man. He also proved that NOT all Greeks are, in the immortal words of Foreigner, “hot blooded, hot blooded.” The Dukakis example meant that I no longer had to live life as if it were a Kazan movie, which was a relief for someone who is half Norwegian and occasionally hears the siren song of the Norwegian bachelor farmer. And that’s okay as long as I don’t have to eat the grub: I’ll take moussaka over pickled herring any day.

So, in the age of Arianna all I can is ask is this: where have you goneJohn Brademas andPaul Sarbanes?

One thing I *can* say for Satan’s Botoxed Handmaiden is that she’s provided grist for Tracey Ullman’s mill: