‘Along with those other dates’

Dial DOWN the drama, son:

Pennsylvania Rep. Mike Kelly (R), an ardent opponent of abortion rights, said that today’s date would live in infamy alongside those two other historic occasions. Wednesday marked the day on which a controversial new requirement by the Department of Health and Human Services, which requires health insurance companies to cover contraceptive services for women, goes into effect.

“I know in your mind you can think of times when America was attacked. One is December 7th, that’s Pearl Harbor day. The other is September 11th, and that’s the day of the terrorist attack,” Kelly said at a press conference on Capitol Hill. “I want you to remember August the 1st, 2012, the attack on our religious freedom. That is a day that will live in infamy, along with those other dates.”

FDR called. He says your mom still owes him change from 1941, which adjusted for inflation is now like $50. He says have your sister bring it the next time she sneaks in the servants’ entrance wearing that girdle he likes.

For fuck’s sake, is there anything sadder than watching these scolds try to pretend they’re doing something important? Pearl Harbor? 9/11? Those were days on which people legitimately did important things. This is just some chicks not having to pay so much for their birth control pills, and don’t get me wrong, that’s awesome, but it’s completely nothing like having a few thousand people dead at the end of the day.

One thing that keeps making me crazy in this “religious freedom” freakfest of a conversation is the point nobody’s making: Nobody is forcing religious women to go on birth control. If your ladies are sufficiently godly, they can go about their days with nothing changing one bit. If they are really that serious about Jesus being opposed to the slutty sluttiness, they can just not take any pills at all, and continue to have a baby every year, excruciating pain every month, and possibly bleed to death for good measure, the way the Bible tells them to.

Meanwhile, out here in the 21st century, those of us who think Jesus would rather spend HIs time sorting His junk mail and keeping His eye on sparrows will take the money the new law saves us and buy some Chipotle with it, or pay rent, or put gas in our cars, and if Jesus or the Pope have a problem with that They are welcome to take it up with us personally.


5 thoughts on “‘Along with those other dates’

  1. I’d like to know how many of their wives/daughters have ever used birth control. OK for me, but not for thee.
    Btw, your last graph cracked me up. When I was 4 yrs old my fundy parents thought it amusing to teach me to sing “His Eye is On the Sparrow”.

  2. Commenting both on this thread and MichaelF in following thread:
    Why don’t they really dial it up and compare it to the slaughter in Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
    Oh wait, WE are the ones that did that.

  3. Well, 9/11, Pearl Harbor and free birth control do all have one thing in common: The GOP couldn’t prevent them.

  4. These folks are ALWAYS the weepy victim martyrs when they can’t get their way. That creepy old First Amendment just messes up their aim of turning America into Sharia with a cross…

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