This, this, a thousand times this: 

“Ugh.” With that, Seth Stevenson, writing for Slate, takes a break from saluting Jeb’s “compassion,” “restraint,” “backbone,” “rigor,” “integrity,” and “empathy,” to acknowledge the unconstitutional intervention whereby Jebprolonged the pointless suffering of Terry Schiavo to score some political points with the Christian right: “Oh, and ugh, the Terry Schiavo stuff.”

Ah yes, the politics writer’s annoying hard luck, that a politician’s actual behavior in elected office—the use to which he has put the powers won via canny performance of personal traits others will admire—should intrude upon one’s uncritical endorsement of that performance. You see, Stevenson wants to mourn Republican voters’ rejection of the field’s “strongest tether to decency,” but unfortunately for him—and even more so for Jeb—the effort to occlude the decent, principled, compassionate person Jeb Bush really is evidently involves a conspiracy between both his opponents and his own fucking record. Ugh.

This is a cousin to the critter that says Ben Carson thinks the pyramids were built to store grain AHAHAHAHA HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE DEBT CEILING IS. I don’t care he thinks he got in a fight with someone and then God told him to stop or whatever the hell. I care that if he became President he thinks we should all tithe.

It’s so gross when you have to do your job and actually, you know, look at what a politician did with power the last time we gave him some. The last time we gave Jeb Bush power he thought he should bring the whole damn country to a screeching halt so he could intervene in a private family tragedy to make bones with the fundamentalists WHO THEN SUPPORTED DONALD TRUMP IN THE PRIMARIES OVER HIM. That was what Jeb did with the superhero’s magic ring but hey, if it gives you a sad to have to read the clip file, by all means make up a pretty story in your head about how he was just too beautiful for this world. Fuck all this forever.

(I mean, if you want to say something nice about Jeb Bush, say that he is probably responsible for thousands of people my age having living wills. I know after the Schiavo clusterfuck I made damn sure everyone knew Mr. A was in charge and had been told what kind of medical care I expected, lest the garbage bin governor of my state decide to jerk off a preacher about it someday.)

I do not understand what you are doing as a political reporter if writing about politics bores and offends you. It’s not like there are people who don’t want the chair. Get out of it and give it to somebody who’ll use it as intended.

A.