Women Need to Hate Other Women to Protect Their Men

What the hell part nine:

So what can moms do to protect themselves from sexually predatory nannies, according to CBS2 News? First, don’t hire anyone too beautiful. Leslie Venokur, co-founder of parenting website Big City Moms, say that moms should screen potential nannies based on how they dress. “If they’re wearing dangling earrings, that to me is a no-no,” she asserts.

Then, CBS2 tells moms that surveillance can be necessary.

Moms, it is your job to screen all people around your husband to make sure they are not going to trip him so that his dick will land inside them by mistake. Raising a young child and figuring out childcare and scheduling all that stuff, well, on top of that you now basically have to be some kind of Sex KGB, mommies, always on watch for someone out to steal your mayunn.

You know what would be a good tip to protect your family from “sexually predatory nannies?” Not marrying a douchemook who would screw the nanny. The nanny promised to take care of your kids in exchange for money. Your husband promised not to boink other people while he was with you, so if he’s not doing his job maybe he’s the one you should fire.

God, we are still blaming women for “tempting” men away from their loving spouses, and not talking about maybe the dude needs to keep his pants zipped, especially if he has young kids who will notice him skeezily feeling up their caregiver. We are keeping an eye out for those wily nannies who are just spending their days caring for children in an effort to score some hot suburban dad tail, because that’s the easiest way to get laid, you know, schlepping kids to the park. So much more fun than dating apps.

As usual, in the comments someone will pop up to tell me I am being a prude or refusing to admit attractions happen and boundaries get blurred and OF COURSE THEY DO. People get attracted to one another and when you’re in a new and uncertain situation the boundaries are uncertain. And I don’t advocate pointlessly tempting yourself, which is why we didn’t hire Harrison Ford to watch Kick while I’m at work. I would have a hard time with that.

The point is that attractions and feelings are not an imperative to mash your genitals together, and get your shit straight, people. You didn’t promise to love, honor, and never notice any hot people ever again. You promised to love, honor, cherish and keep you only unto. If Dad can’t figure that out, maybe he’s the one who needs the surveillance.

A.

3 thoughts on “Women Need to Hate Other Women to Protect Their Men

  1. Dorothy says:

    To be fair, the dangling earring thing is a reasonable precaution, depending on how young your kids are.
    But that’s about protecting your nanny’s ears….

    Like

  2. that, Dorothy, actually makes sense.

    Like

  3. Now, on to Athenae’s point:

    If he’s that big a horndog, he’s not setting a good example for your kids.
    He’s not respecting you, never mind the vows you two exchanged.

    But of course putting the blame on the bad actor isn’t going to sell ads, so …

    Like

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