House GOP Follies Of 2023

The way House Republicans are organizing the chamber reminds me of the Our Gang/Little Rascals shorts wherein the kids staged shows. After some cursory research, I have one in mind:

In that short, Carl Alfalfa Switzer sang The Barber Of Seville during the show. As always, he bombed. In fact (fiction?) he was pelted with veggies:

That sums up my reaction to the House under the weakest Speaker ever, KMac. Sam Rayburn was the longest serving House Speaker in history. He thought there were two kinds of Congresscritters: Show horses and work horses. Rayburn loved the latter and derided the former. KMac has turned the House over to the show horses something even Newt Gingrich didn’t do.

It just occurred to me that KMac is Alfalfa’s evil twin. Like the Our Gangster, he can neither sing nor speak the language. KMac remains Untrustable In Hungria.

I don’t mean to smear the Our Gang kids. They were mischievous and high-spirited children, not spoiled brats hence their teevee name The Little Rascals. In 2023, the brats are in control of the House and they’re mendacious and mean-spirited. Thanks, KMac.

One committee in particular is full of the sort of brats who scream, shout, and throw rotten veggies just to get attention. I’ll let the good folks at The Recount explain:

This is the Trumpiest committee imaginable. Scanning that list give a whole new meaning to the term read ’em and weep. There’s a song called Read ‘Em and Weep but since it was first recorded by Meatloaf I’m not posting it. A reminder that the Loaf was a Trumper who cried his way through his appearance on The Celebrity Apprentice.

Given its membership, I think the House Oversight Committee needs a new name. I have some candidates:

  • The MAGA Maggot Committee
  • The Election Denier’s Committee
  • The House Oversmear Committee

I like the last one best even if oversmear is a word I just made up. Now that I think of it, that’s precisely why I like it so much.

The Oversmear Committee is a circus without a ringmaster; an asylum without a Nurse Ratched to keep the inmates in line. The nominal chair is a performance artist from Kentucky named James Comer. He’s unlikely to be able to control the likes of Boebert, the Qanon lady, and The Grotesque Dr. Gosar. The latter reminds me of Our Gangster Froggy:

In other committee news, The Talented Mr. Santos  was named to the Small Business committee as well as one that provoked some brilliant trolling from the Astronaut twin brother of Sen. Mark Kelly:

The Talented Mr. Santos is Buzz Lightyear? Who knew? I’ll consult with Randy Newman:

KMac is playing a dangerous game. He’s every bit as deluded as Alfalfa after seeing this picture:

KMac may think Lauren and Marge love him, but they don’t. It’s not even puppy love unless the puppies are rabid. Lauren and Marge certainly are.

The most interesting part of the House GOP-Our Gang analogy is how badly the Little Rascals fared in life. Froggy died at the age of 16 in a freak car accident. Alfalfa was shot to death at the age of 32. There are even those who believe that there was an Our Gang curse. Those killjoys at Snopes have debunked the claim but it’s easy to imagine conspiracy loving House GOPers digging it. They’re easily amused and more easily fooled.

There is some good news. House Republicans are destined to go too far. Their wackiest schemes will go nowhere with the likes of Jims Comer and Jordan in charge of investigatory committees. KMac is likely to end up like Alfalfa, pelted with rotten veggies and booed off the stage. But will it be by his own caucus or the voters? Stay tuned.

I gave myself an earworm when going on about the term read ’em and weep. The last word goes to Frank Zappa and the Mothers with a song that includes that very refrain sung by Napoleon Murphy Brock and George Duke: