Indictment Watch: Someone Has To Go First

Alvin Bragg, Fani Willis, Jack Smith.

I’m amused by the agita of the MSM over the timing of a possible Trump indictment, especially that of political reporters and pundits. Grand Juries are secret, y’all. Nobody really knows anything. It’s all guess work cloaked in certitude. The MSN is always certain but often wrong.

The Impeached Insult Comedian told his followers it was happening yesterday and urged them to gather in protest. He was wrong again. The crowds were sparse. They don’t want to join the Dipshit Insurrectionists in the slammer.

Reports from inside Trump’s Fortress of Malakatude indicate that he’s melting down like the reactor in The China Syndrome:

The Kaiser of Chaos is hoping for a perp walk according to his court stenographer Maggie Haberman:

Donald J. Trump claims he is ready for his perp walk.


Behind closed doors at Mar-a-Lago, the former president has told friends and associates that he welcomes the idea of being paraded by the authorities before a throng of reporters and news cameras. He has even mused openly about whether he should smile for the assembled media, and he has pondered how the public would react and is said to have described the potential spectacle as a fun experience.”

Repeat after me: It’s all bluster and bullshit. His ALL CAPS screeds on Truth Media-or whatever the hell it’s called- show that he’s scared shitless. But he’s still full of shit.

House Republicans are threatening Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg with an investigation. But they sent a letter, not a subpoena so none of this is binding. Jordan and Comer are scared shitless too.

Bragg is NOT scared shitless:

“In every prosecution, we follow the law without fear or favor to uncover the truth. Our skilled, honest and dedicated lawyers remain hard at work.”

Shorter Alvin Bragg: Gym Jordan can go fuck himself.

Judge Beryl Howell is NOT scared shitless either:

  • ABC News reported last evening, citing sources familiar with the legal filings, that U.S. Judge Beryl Howell has determined Trump may have knowingly mislead his lawyers and “intentionally concealed” information about the classified materials he had in his possession after leaving the White House.
  • Howell wrote on Friday that prosecutors in special counsel Jack Smith’s office had presented enough compelling preliminary evidence “that the former president had committed criminal violations” for attorney-client privileges that at least two of his lawyers have cited to avoid testimony could potentially be revoked.

We’re still on indictment watch in what appears to be the strongest case of all: the Georgia election tampering case. It looks as if Fulton County DA Fani Willis may use Georgia’s RICO statute in her case. It’s perfect: Trump *is* a racketeer. It’s time to trot out his mob nickname: Don Donaldo, Il Comico Insulto.

The post title refers to all the hair-pulling, teeth grinding angst by all the bedwetting amateur lawyers out there. It’s true that paying off a porn star isn’t as bad as coup plotting but it’s a crime that Michael Cohen has already been convicted of. It’s still some serious shit.

I’ll let Ryan Goodman and The Puppetmaster DBA Andrew Weissmann explain:

Though it may be tempting to do so, it is a mistake to assess the Manhattan district attorney’s investigation of Donald Trump by comparing its relative severity with those of myriad other crimes possibly committed by him. That is not how state and federal prosecutors will — or should — be thinking about the issue of charging Mr. Trump, or for that matter, any other defendant.


Prosecutors are trained to consider whether a case can be brought — in other words, is there proof beyond a reasonable doubt to support a conviction? They also consider whether a case should be brought — principally, is the crime one that is typically charged by the office in like circumstances? Put another way: Is bringing the charge consistent with the rule of law that requires treating likes alike?”

That’s why Team Bragg should seek an indictment. Don’t listen to the static from Team Brag. They’re just trying to save Trump’s worthless rump.

I have a theory about why Bragg dropped this inquiry last year. He didn’t want to be out on the indictment limb alone. He’s got company in 2023. Again, that’s just a logical inference drawn from the facts. Holy lawyer lingo, Batman.

In the end, it won’t matter which jurisdiction is first to indict. Someone has to go first. That’s the long view. MAGA Republicans aren’t big picture people. They follow the example of their fearful leader who is a small picture kinda guy.

Former President* Pennywise thinks of himself as special. He’s right for once: He’s about to be the first ex-president to be indicted.

Repeat after me: Someone has to go first.

The last word goes to Stephen Stills and Manassas: