I came close to declaring a moratorium on JD Vance posts. I’d had a bellyful of hillbilly and elegy titles both at First Draft and elsewhere.

Then we learned how weird this best-selling author turned Trump sycophant truly is. And I say that as a childless cat dude.

Once it was revealed that the beardo was a super weirdo, I decided it was time for another pop quiz. My Talented Mr. Santos Pop Quiz caused a minor sensation so I give you without any further ado:

1. Who played Maw Maw in the movie of Hillbilly Elegy?

A. Margo Martindale.

B. Jane Darwell.

C. Glenn Close.

D. Lily Tomlin.

E. Divine.

2. What household object is Vance rumored to have fucked?

A. A plunger.

B. A pillow.

C.  A rubber glove.

D. A couch.

E. Maw Maw’s false teeth.

3. Who is Vance’s filthy rich patron?

A. George Soros.

B. Tilman Fertitta.

C. Peter Thiel.

D. Kevin (Mr. Wonderful) O’Leary.

E. Rishi Sunak.

4. Whose idea was it that Vance be picked as Trump’s Veep nominee?

A. Donald Trump Junior.

B. Paul Manafort.

C. Alex Jones.

D. Mike Flynn.

E.  Roger Stone.

5. What do Trumpers DISLIKE about Vance?

A. Couch fucking rumors.

B. Usha, Vance’s wife who is Indian and Hindu.

C. His beard.

D. He wrote a book, they don’t read them.

E. He attended pride parades.

6. What group of people has Vance alienated recently?

A. Childless people.

B. Transgender people.

C. Cat people.

D. Suburban women.

E. All of the above.

7. Does Vance support a national abortion ban?

A. It depends on who’s asking.

B. Absolutely not.

C. Only when speaking to evangelical groups.

D. Hell yeah.

E. Only when speaking in the hollers of Appalachia.

8. Who coined the nickname Shillbilly?

A. Adrastos.

B. Jamie Raskin.

C. Donald Trump.

D. Tim Walz.

E. Liz Cheney.

9. Who is the weirdest Republican pol on this list?

A. Marjorie Taylor Greene.

B. Ron DeSantis.

C. JD Vance.

D. Lauren Boebert.

E. TIE.

10 True or False: One of Vance’s best friends at Yale Law school is transgender.

A. True

B. False

QUIZ ANSWER KEY:

1C: Glenn Close. I’d rather rewatch her lawyer show Damages in which she reminded nobody of anybody’s grandmother.

2D: A couch. I’ve heard of sheep fuckers and pig fuckers but never couch fuckers or sofa fuckers for that matter. Fuck it.

3C: Peter Thiel. I dig PayPal but hate him because he’s a disgrace to our high school alma mater. I usually brag about San Mateo High alums, but I’ll make an exception in his case. Not a fan of fascists or Silicon Valley moguls.

4A: Trump Junior. You know the old saying: Garbage in, garbage out.

5B: Vance’s wife Usha. The GOP has cornered the market on racist voters. They’re welcome to it.

E is also true but not as well known.

6E: All of the above. Once upon a time, candidates were placed on a national ticket to expand the base. There’s been shrinkage since Vance was picked as Trump’s running mate. Nobody likes shrinkage of any kind.

7D: Hell yeah. JD never met an abortion ban he didn’t love and support.

8B: Jamie Raskin. I tried to steal credit for Shillbilly, but I have nickname cred and didn’t want to blow it on a false claim. I’m not a Trumper, after all.

9E: TIE. They’re all super weird. The GOP has become the party of weirdos. After a lifetime as a quirky eccentric, I’m suddenly a normie. How weird is that?

10A: True. Read this NYT article.

That concludes the JD Vance Pop Quiz. He’s not only a weirdo, he’s a creep, and a phony. That’s why he fits in so well with the Trump family.

The last word goes to Humble Pie with my favorite song with creep in the title: