I’m just gonna rename this whole blog Stupid Republican Tricks. Via Kos, I see to my disappointment that P.J. O’Rourke is no longerfunny or intelligent. Has wingnuttery infected everything? You’d think they’d have learned.
Mind you, they won’t live in Hyde Park. Those leafy precincts will be reserved for the micromanagers and macro-apparatchiks of liberalism–for Secretary of the Department of Peace Bill Ayers and Secretary of the Department of Fairness Bernardine Dohrn. The formerly independent citizens of our previously self-governed nation will live, as I said, around Hyde Park. They will make what homes they can in the physical, ethical, and intellectual slums of the South Side of Chicago.
The South Side of Chicago is what everyplace in America will be once the Democratic administration and filibuster-resistant Democratic Congress have tackled global warming, sustainability, green alternatives to coal and oil, subprime mortgage foreclosures, consumer protection, business oversight, financial regulation, health care reform, taxes on the “rich,” and urban sprawl. The Democrats will have plenty of time to do all this because conservatism, if it is ever reborn, will not come again in the lifetime of anyone old enough to be rounded up by ACORN and shipped to the polling booths.
Number one, as someone with a great deal of loyalty to the South Side, fuck you hard, P.J.Hyde Park is on the South Side. Dumbass. Have an intern bring you a map along with your fourth scotch of the morning. And we can talk about “slums” when we talk about where you presently reside. I’m willing to bet it isn’t anyplace crack dealers ply their trade, nor within spitting distance of public housing of any kind. The South Side encompasses miles and miles and miles of city, including black and white neighborhoods, rich and poor neighborhoods, and to this day having worked in all of them at one time or another I can tell you ain’t nobody ever describedtheir own place as a “slum.” Bitching about liberal elitism while writing off half the population of an entire American city as crap = such classic fail. It’s unworthy of you, P.J. Unworthy.
Number two, what the hell? It’s like he threw Red State in a blender and this is what came out. “Blargle blargle flap flap AYERS blargle!” Conservatism has failed, objectively, because for the past 20 years at least all conservatives wanted to talk about was presidential blowjobs, phony associations, windsurfing, faux-scandalous land deals, and people with askeery names. Conservatism has failed because for the past 40 years all y’all have done is bitch about hippies that have hurt exactly nobody, Ayers and Dohrn notwithstanding, Peej, instead of focusing on things that make people’s lives better and run government usefully and well.
That’s why it sounds like radical socialism when Barack Obama, a reasonably centrist Democrat, says things like, “If you earn your pension you should be able to keep it.” Department of Peace? Department of Fairness? Whose election was he watching? I expect a certain amount of glib and phony bullshit from online squirrel nuts trying to justify their existences to their pathetic investors, from the wannabes that popped up in the past five years to wave their big R thundersticks around, but I expected better from someone my father’s age. I expected, at the least, not to have to tell him to grow the hell up.
I can’t believe I own this man’s books. Time to find a prison library to donate them to, one with wobbly tables that need propping up.